My thoughts go back to the beginning, to those early moments when it was all tension, fire, andcuriosity.
Not much more than a year and a half, and I’m a new man, and Eric has changed so much on this journey we’veshared.
A knock at the door catches my attention, and when I open it, I find Stan and Charlotte standing outside, looking as eager asever.
“Look how handsome he is,” Stan says, wiping at atear.
“Don’t you do this,” Charlotte says. “You’re going to get me goingagain.”
As they head into the room, we exchange warm hugs as Stan catches me up on some of the crises he and Charlotte have resolved in the past twenty minutes, making them sound as overdramatic as ever. He takes a breath, like he needs a few to recover from all the work they endured through helping put thistogether.
“Thank you, guys,” I say. “You really have been amazing parents, better than I could have dreamedof.”
“He’s just trying to make me cry more. Don’t listen to him,Charlotte.”
Charlottelaughs.
“I was telling Eric a while ago,” I add, “that before you guys came into my life, I didn’t even really know what family meant. Or love. I had it in my head, and in some ways I still do, that if I fucked up, it was over. I’ve learned…in a lot of different ways, especially recently, that’s not what love is about. Love is understanding and compassion…and most importantly,forgiveness.”
“I’m sorry you didn’t already know that before we met you,” Charlotte says. “Every child should have that privilege. The world isn’t always fair, though. And things don’t always work out the way we expect them to. However, you handle it with as much grace and dignity as you can, and we’re both proud that, in spite of everything, you stand up for the things that matter to you, no matter what others mightsay.”
“Maybe because I know I have at least you two guys always on myside.”
“At least four now,” she says, and I know she means Ty and Erictoo.
“I never feel like I deserve any of it,” Iadmit.
They move in together, giving me another grouphug.
“You do, Jesse,” Stan says. “You had such a hard time about making mistakes…were always hard on yourself, more than you should have been. In some ways, that’s been what’s driven you to where you are, but as much as you have pushed and fought and struggled, it was never your job to be perfect or to never mess up. As you can see, it’s not the end of the world. It’s just the beginning ofyours.”
“Your father’s right,” Charlotte says. “And we’re so happy for you. Startled as we have been about so much since we found out about Eric, we know you’re making the right choice. We hope you knowthat.”
“Ido.”
“Save those words for your fiancé,” Staninsists.
“I love you, Mom andDad.”
“Aww, sweetie, we love you too,” Stan says, which Charlotte quickly follows with, “Love you more than you’ll everknow.”
We exchange a few more affectionate and appreciative words before the guys return. Shortly after, the wedding coordinator fetchesus.
Ty, the guys, and I wait together in a room, keeping an eye on the open door, where Sam plays lookout, watching as the wedding coordinator cues our exits. As worked out during rehearsal yesterday, Eric and his groomsmen will all be heading around from the side of thehouse.
I’m on edge. I want to see Eric again. It’s been too long that we’ve been apart. Even though it has been hardly any time at all, it feels likeforever.
Sam signals for the guys, one at a time, until it’s his turn, leaving me and my bestman.
“I’m about up,” Ty says, peeking out where Sam had been. “Don’t try to run ornothin’.”
“I’ll do mybest.”
The coordinator signals for him, and he turns to me. “Get out there and marry mydad.”
Since all this went down, for the first time, I can feel the deepest of appreciations for what we share, not hindered by discomfort or uneasiness, and it’s more than I ever could have dreamed when all thisbegan.
Damn, I better notcry.
