“I don’t know if I have the strength to fight anymore.”
Pa took another drink and passed the flask back to Mason. “Then you’re not the man I thought you were.” He started to get on his feet, turning and pressing his palm against the wall to support his weight. “And Chase deserves better than that,” he continued. “Don’t be stupid. Don’t let him leave again. For both your sakes.”
“But how—”
“Stop making it so fucking hard. You love him. Find a way.”
He was right.
“Thank you, Pa.”
Pa left the stable, and Mason put the flask to his mouth and tossed his head back, downing a shot’s worth. He had to fight. That could have ended up being his last chance to be with Chase. Who knew how the fuck they would make it work? But if after all the years that had passed, if they still couldn’t put to rest the feelings they shared, he doubted he’d find a way within his lifetime.
* * *
Chase headed downstairs into the kitchen toward the back door. He figured Mason would retreat to the stables. He knew him well enough to know that’s where he’d go to think, but it was only going to make what he had to do even harder since it was where he’d found him the last time they’d needed to have a similar chat.
Despite how much he’d enjoyed the time he’d shared with Mason, Emery was right. He knew what he had to do, and he hated himself for the pain he’d put Mason through once again—the pain he’d put the Finleys through.
The back door opened, and Mason stepped inside, his expression shifting to surprise as they looked at each other.
He closed the door behind him, and they just gazed at each other, neither speaking.
Chase recalled when he’d had to work up his courage in the past. He’d gotten through it then, and he’d get through it again.
“You look like you’ve already made up your mind about something,” Mason said.
“I was talking to Emery, and I think we need to have a conversation. One we needed to have a long time ago.”
“About?”
“Filing some papers, maybe.” That was the most he could say, because he knew he couldn’t get the word “divorce” past his lips. He was about to break down, and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold on.
Mason’s jaw tensed as he studied Chase’s expression. He balled his hands into fists like he just wanted to put a hole in the wall. “Funny. You sure as fuck weren’t saying anything about a divorce last night.”
“I’ve done some serious thinking, some thinking I should have been doing this whole time, but I just got swept away with all this… with you.”
“Talk to me, Chase. There’s something going on—something you’re not telling me here. How do you go from saying you love me to wanting to file for a divorce overnight?”
“I hadn’t considered how painful this could be for you—for everyone—if it doesn’t work out. I don’t want to hurt this family any more than I already have.”
“What if I’m not willing to let you go again?” Mason asked.
“You can’t make that decision.”
“Then what if I beg?” Tears stirred in Mason’s eyes as he approached Chase quickly, forcing him to back up. “Because I’ll beg you, Chase. I’ll get on my fucking knees if that’s what I need to do. Uproot my life. I don’t give a flying fuck what I have to do, just tell me what you need.”
“Please stop, Mase.”
Mason backed him up to the wall. “Chase, my feelings haven’t changed for you, even after all these years. I love you, and I know you love me, too.”
Mason set his hand on Chase’s face and stroked his thumb across his cheek.
“Give me some fucking papers all you want, and I’ll sign them. You can walk away, but I know that you love me, and that you always will. You can walk out now, and that’s your right, but one day you’ll be back here because you’re never gonna find what we have here, and you know it. It may be ten more years from now… or twenty, but no matter what you try to do, you won’t be able to fight this forever. Whether you like it or not, I’m going to be the one who takes care of you when you’re old and gray. Because I can’t stop loving you, even if I want to. And you can’t stop loving me.” His face tensed up before he spat out, “Because I’m still your guy. I’ll always be your guy. I don’t need a fucking piece of paper to tell me that. And you’ll figure it out in your stupid brain one of these days. How long do we have to wait to be happy, Chase?”
Chase took a breath. Mason’s words were too much for him. They broke through all his defenses, shattered his courage.
“Chase, what is it? What’s keeping us apart? Because you can’t convince me that it’s just our lives. Not anymore. What is this thing that you have in your brain that you won’t let go of?”
