Even though we’re discussingWilliam, I’m talking about Dad. Feels like I carry him with me everywhere I go.Every co-worker who screams at me is just another chance for Dad to lash out atme through them.
Reese gazes at me insilence. I know what he’s doing. Judging me. Blaming me.
“I wouldn’t fucking do this to myself,” I insist. “This isn’t likeTyler. He was just being a dick. William is seriously getting on my case oversomething stupid.”
“I don’t think you do it to yourself. I just wonder if sometimesyour attitude toward people is more what turns it into a big deal than thething that starts these kinds of fights.”
“So you’re blaming me?” He’s just like everyone else.
“I’m not saying William was right to get that fired up aboutputting the fucking fuel in the forklift or that Tyler was right when he wasbeing an ass to you. I’m just saying that I’m sure your reaction to themdoesn’t help things any.”
“No shit. Whatever. If you got a problem with how I am, I canwalk today.”
“Why do you have to take it there? I’m trying to help you, Jay.”
“I don’t need any help,Reese.” I stress his name, emphasizingthe way he said mine.
But as he gazes into my eyes, I can’t help but think how muchhelp I really need. How alone I feel. How alone I’ve always felt. But I’ll bedamned if I’m going to get lectured by some trick.
Not a trick—my boss. This is how fucking in the workplacecomplicates shit.
“Everyone needs help,” he says. “Every one of us. I didn’t gethere today without help or by pushing people away when they try to offer me ahand. Not that I haven’t done that in the past, but at some point, you have toaccept the assistance.”
Considering all he’s been through, way fucking more than me, I’dbe stupid not to at least hear him out.
“Maybe next time something happens, you could walk away for abit. Maybe just tell whoever is getting on your nerves that you need aten-minute break and then head off. If someone accuses you of something, youcan just sayokay, even if they’re totally wrong. Just find yourbearings and maybe confront them again when you’ve thought things through. Idon’t think these sorts of things would turn into a big fight if you took aminute to think them through, but you just start going off like that, and thenno one’s listening.”
He has a point. Several points that sound like they’re worthconsidering. Now I see why he’s the boss-man. He’s the first I’ve ever run intowho seems to actually give a shit about his employees. Although maybe he justcares about me because we fucked around. I wonder if he’d have been asunderstanding about my tirade if I hadn’t let him up my ass a few hoursearlier. But he was nice to me even after I threw him to the ground, and hewasn’t fucking me then. So maybe he’s just a good guy.
“I could do that,” I admit.
“I’d appreciate that. And if you need to come chat with me aboutit, yell at me about it, feel free. I’ve already given Martin and Carterpermission to come and vent to me any time things are getting hard during theday. Sometimes you just need to get stuff off your chest, but without gettingin everyone’s faces.”
So he does this for more people than just me? Suddenly I don’tfeel as special. But in a good way. Like he just sees me as any other employee,not like I need special care because of anything we’ve done. I’m also a littledisappointed. I don’t know why. We just fucked around a bit. He doesn’t owe meanything because of it.
He’s the kind of guy someone would be real lucky to have. A realcatch. Hot as fuck. A good guy. Good listener. Someone who’s been throughenough shit in his life that he understands what’s important.
I don’t know why I’m letting my thoughts go there. Not like he’dwant to do anything with me, some asshole he works with…someone he’s hooked upwith twice. I could never be the kind of guy someone like Reese would want tobe with. He’d want someone on his level. Someone successful. Someone withmoney. Someone who doesn’t have all these fucking petty attitude problems,which must seem like total bullshit to someone who’s been through such seriousshit. Who’s been through war.
God, why am I fucking thinking like this? I don’t even know thisguy.
“Thanks,” I say. “Can I go now?” I need to get back on thefloor. Need to get away from him.
He seems surprised by my curt response.
“Oh, shit. No—I didn’t mean that like I’m not listening,” I say.“I really do appreciate it. I just think I should get back to help out withgetting this stuff shipped out.”
He blinks a few times before saying, “Sure. Go ahead.”
I start for the door.
“One more thing,” he says.
I stop and turn back around.
“You want to swing by my place later?”
Of course I fucking want to swing by his place. “This ass isyours whenever you need it,” I say with a wink.
