As usual, Shannon’s right on time to pick me up, and Gia’s in the back seat, but no sign of Kiki, who’s usually picked up first. “Keeks is taking the Porsche in again today,” Shannon explains as I climb into the front seat of her 4Runner, “but don’t worry.” She taps her dashboard. “It’s basically like she’s here.”
Shannon is playing the newest episode ofKiki on the Case,because of course she is.
“I haven’t listened yet,” I say cautiously. “What’d I miss?”
“She’s putting secret couples from history on blast. Did you know Eleanor Roosevelt was a lesbian? She had a secret lover and everything.”
The coffee my mom handed me this morning sloshes in my stomach. “You don’t say.”
I have to warn Jasmine today about the conversations that are gonna be floating around, and about the very distinct possibility that Kiki has somehow piecedtogether the truth about us. Thinking about any and all of it makes me wanna die.
For a moment, I’m worried I spoke aloud, because suddenly Shannon’s car is turning onto Jasmine’s street.
“What are we doing here?” Gia asks, and I’m relieved I don’t have to.
“Jasmine’s car is in the shop, so I told her we’d give her a ride.”
That Shannon knows her car is in the shop, and that Shannon is who Jasmine went to for help, punches me in the gut. They’rereallybecoming friends, and I don’t know whether the idea of not being Shannon’s number one anymore or the idea of not being Jasmine’s number one at Stratford bothers me more. How did they bond like this? When? Where was I?
Gia huffs the tiniest bit. Everyone knows that in our close-knit group of four, Shannon and I are the tightest; when my mom was still finding her footing in the job market and working later hours than Child Protective Services would’ve found acceptable, the Salter mansion’s open-door policy was a lifesaver, rendering us inseparable. But that doesn’t mean any one of us are gonna be cool with a fifth wheel.
Shannon pretends not to notice.
The sound of a door slamming makes us all look up. As if Jasmine knew I was gonna be wearing my blandest outfit, she’s wearing what must be one of her loudest—black-and-white-checkered hip huggers, a cropped hot-pink sweater that looks gorgeous with her deeply tanned skin, and big gold hoops that poke through her thick, silky curtain of hair. She’s usually a few inchestaller than me, but today she’s wearing platforms that lift her a few extra.
She looks like she wants to be noticed.
I try not to think about whom she’d like to be noticedby.
It’s a few weeks into the school year and I haven’t heard any rumors of Jasmine getting with anyone or even flirting, though I’ve heard of plenty of guys expressing interest. She’s getting a reputation as mysterious and elusive—everything I thought she was before I got to know her. Everything she’s been to me again since she moved here.
This summer she felt like someone I’d been born to know, and now I feel like I can’t predict a damn thing.
Which I guess is back to being how she likes it.
“Good morning!” Shannon greets her sunnily as she slips in the backseat with Gia, and Jasmine grunts in the universal language of “I haven’t had my coffee yet.” Shannon laughs and says that clearly a stop at the Starbucks drive-thru will be required.
Jasmine mumbles her appreciation. Even fully decked out, she has never been a morning person, though she does warm up a bit when Gia declares her outfit cute.
We’re driving for about a minute when Jasmine speaks up. “What are you guys listening to? Is that Kiki?”
I cringe as Gia launches into an explanation of the episode, glad that Jasmine can’t see me from her seat behind me.
“Secret relationships. Interesting.” Jasmine sure sounds awake now. “So… fraught. I wonder what brought that on.”
I dig my nails into the seat, not caring if it chips the pink polish I applied last night.
“It must suck to have to keep a relationship secret,” Gia muses. “I mean, I guess it’s kind of romantic, having something just between the two of you, but if I couldn’t hold Tommy’s hand in the hallway or kiss him at the movies—”
“And in the lunch room, and in class, and at parties, and at—”
“Oh, shut up,” Gia says to Shannon as Jasmine snorts and I full-on laugh. Gia likes to think she’s restrained about PDA, but she’s delusional. She would be a terrible spy.
Definitely not a candidate for a secret relationship.
I try to imagine Gia in my shoes, fooling around with a girl under blankets on the couch or under the cover of starlight, and I can’t. It had felt then like it could happen to anyone, like female friends who were comfortable with each other could fall onto each other’s mouths and it was all cool. But would that have happened if it’d been Gia on the beach—Gia, who was obsessed with Tommy’s masculine forearms and deep voice and the earthy smell of his cologne? Shannon, maybe, if she thought it somehow made her worldly. Shannon would probably shout about it from the rooftops.
And suddenly, it hits me. I’m here drowning in self-reflection while Shannon and Jasmine get closer. Shannon may be flirting with Lucas, but they aren’t a Thing, not yet. And Shannon’s been known to surprise with her dating choices, especially if she thinks landing them is a fun challenge. Isthatwhat’s going on here? Is Jasminedressed up because Shannon’s picking her up? Is Shannon picking her up like people pick up people they’re dating?
