“It’s more than that. You stood up to Shannon about sharing your shit with Jasmine. And since the summer, you… walk taller, or something. Chase obviously sees something different in you, and I’m just saying, I see it too.”
Okay, this wasdefinitelynot the conversation I expected. I’ve always wondered if maybe Kiki lived somewhere under the rainbow, given her total disinterest in the guys at Stratford, but I kinda figured she was too sophisticated for them. She’s the type to, like, sleep with her brilliant professor in college. But maybe—
“That sounded like I was hitting on you. I’m not hitting on you,” she clarifies. “I just feel like I’m missing out on something big in your life and it’s kind of killing me. Not because I’m a nosy piece of shit but because you’re one of my best friends.”
For a moment, I feel a twinge of disappointment. Not that I wanted Kiki to hit on me—there’s enough confusion in my head as it is—but I’d kill to be able to talk to another girl who’s kissed a girl, who’s… been with a girl. I want to ask her what the fuck it means and how I know if itdoesmean something.
But, I realize, Kiki’s giving me an opening forsomething else. And it’s not everything, but it’s not nothing. “It’s not something big,” I say, feeling shy and silly, and grateful when the light turns green and she has to tear her eyes away from me. “But I kind of loved the work I did this summer. The person I assisted? She was amazing. She did all this photography and web stuff, and I feel like I learned that there are more things to do with your life than, like, doctor or lawyer or accountant or whatever else every kid from here does. I don’t know, it just got me feeling… open. And optimistic. Excited for the future and trying new things. Not that I have any photography talent, but… writing, maybe?” I can’t believe I just told Kiki that. I can’t believe I’m still talking. I can’t believe I am about to tell her my second biggest secret. “I’ve been writing. A book. A romance, actually.”
“Lara! That’s awesome!” Her smile is so big and genuine, and it makes me smile too. “I had no idea you were interested in writing. I didn’t knowwhatyou were interested in, really, other than Chase.”
The comment stings, but it also makes me laugh. “Surprise! And no, it isn’t Chase-and-Lara fanfiction, I swear.”
“ThankGod. That’s really, really cool. I can’t believe I didn’t know you were into writing before, but it totally makes sense.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah! You’ve always liked reading for fun, and you’re always the first to want to learn or try something new, which probably makes great research. Don’t think I’ve forgotten how many times you’ve let me fingerprint you.”
I snort. “I couldn’t if I wanted to. That ink stained my fingers for, like, a week.”
“And I appreciate it!” She grins. “But okay, so, not to get all Gia on you, but don’t tell me there waszeroromance this summer.Somethingcooled your Chase panties all the way down.”
I groan. “Do you have to phrase everything so extremely gross?”
“Yes.”
“There might have been… some kissing,” I allow. “But that’s all I’ll say about that. And let the record show that my Chase panties are still firmly on. Are we done now?”
“We’re done,” she agrees, pulling up to my building. “But Lar, I’m really, really glad you told me. And if you ever wanna use those newfound web skills, I wouldn’t mind having help making some pretty ads forKiki on the Case. Paid, of course.”
I tap my finger to my chin. “I don’t know if you could afford me, but we’ll talk.” Impulsively, I lean over and press a kiss to the top of her head. “Thanks, Keeks.” I jump out of the car before she can yell at me for showing emotion.
But there’s no yelling. “Lar?”
I turn back. “Yeah?”
“Whoever you were kissing… I think they must’ve been really good for you.”
My mind lingers on her use of “they” long after she leaves me standing in the Porsche’s dust.
Chapter Eleven
The thing about using your cell phone as your alarm clock is it’s hard to avoid seeing your notifications first thing when you wake up. The minute I open my eyes, I see a new episode ofKiki on the Casehas been released.
Oh, and the title of the episode is “Secret Relationships in History.”
It’s too early to deal with my stress over whether or not she’s trying to send me a message, or worse, if there’s something pointed at meinit, so I skip my usual routine of scrolling through everyone’s posts and pictures to wake myself up and instead hop straight into the shower.
I try to think about literally anything else as the hot spray rains, but everything from Homecoming to Chase to college feels charged. I went to sleep around eleven last night, and there hadn’t been a new episode then; what was so important Kiki had to post it first thing this morning? Not to mention the time she must’ve taken to edit it. Did she even sleep?
I guess I should be grateful I got to, thanks to having no idea this was coming.
Sighing in defeat, I finish my shower quickly and throw some mousse in my natural waves rather than going through the whole curling routine that’s been keeping me extra cute since Jasmine introduced me to it. I don’t feel like looking extra cute; I want to blend so deeply into the woodwork even Kiki and her eagle eyes won’t see me. The dress I had picked out for today gets pushed aside in favor of a long-sleeved T-shirt and jeans, and I skip makeup entirely.
Chase will probably walk right through me.
Today, that’s all I want.
