CHAPTER 5
EASTON
Dying really hurts. Fire is consuming my throat; lights straight from heaven are searing my eyes each time I dare to open them a sliver. There isn’t a cell in my body that isn’t in excruciating pain. All I want to do is sleep, but I guess my suffering is overdue to begin. The rhythmic beeping is beyond unnecessary, if you ask me. On the list of sounds that are capable of making me lose my ever-loving shit, that one is near the top.
I take a breath, hoping to steel myself since I’ll probably be hearing it for a long time, but my lungs won’t work. They constrict uselessly in my chest, begging for purchase that doesn’t exist. I can’t scream. I can’t breathe. I can’t do anything but splutter pathetically and panic. My hands try to claw at my neck. If my lungs won’t work, I’m determined I’ll rip them out rather than this torture he prolonged another moment.
There’s yelling and banging and things grabbing at my arms, but something is stopping me. Confusion makes me brave enough to open my eyes all the way, not that I can actually see a damn thing. Just that searing fucking light that makes tears streak down my cheeks.
Finally, whatever was keeping my lungs broken is pulled from my throat, making me gag and drool all over myself like an animal. The first inhale I can manage is more of a choked sob, but damn, it feels good. “That’s it. Breathe. Good,” a female voice I don’t know encourages.
That’s the first time it occurs to me that maybe I’m not dead. I doubt someone would be talking like that in Hell. With my blurry vision, all I can make out of her is a pink blob. A nice blob, but a blob all the same.
The fucking beeping continues at a much higher tempo as I struggle to hold onto reality and make sense of any of this. Something touches my arm; instinctively, I flinch away violently.
“Look at you. Just keep breathing, friend. It is not optional, I’m sorry.”
My scrambled brain definitely cannot process that. “Huh?” I croak, near soundlessly.
The pink blob makes a shocked noise. “Oh. I’m sorry. I’m normally in the NICU and you can say weird things to squishy babies. Sometimes, I forget that it’s a bit out of place in the rest of the world.”
Those are certainly not words I understand. I still can’t keep up with whatever is going on here, and really, I’d just like to know why my throat still feels like it’s engulfed in flames. I guess my silence is perceived as a reason to continue.
“I’m Sammi with an i; I’m your nurse. Do you know where you are?”
That’s a fantastic question, Sammi with an i. I shake my head slowly, as to not aggravate the monster headache I’m sporting.
She seems to have been expecting that. “You’re in Park Valley Hospital. An ambulance brought you to us from your home.”
My bones hurt. There aren’t nerves in bones, I don’t think. How can bones hurt like this? While I’m focusing on that, Sammi with an i keeps going. “You’ve got some people here thatare really anxious to see you. I sent them out while I was pulling your trach tube out, but they’re just in the hall. Want me to send them in?”
Ice-cold panic floods me, making me grind my teeth to help it not show. “Can you describe them?” I’m trying to be rational but everything is coming back so fucking slowly. It’s an effort not to overreact, but she said friends, as in plural, and if it washim, it would be one person.
She nods, the strange bun on her head bobbing dangerously. “There’s a girl, medium brown hair and a very in-charge vibe. Then there’s a guy with dark hair, kinda messy and curly. He’s tall, but so is the other one. Tattoos and a fuck-off vibe.”
Okay, this is fine… Everything is under control. “Yeah, they’re okay.”
Sammi with an i hands me a glass of water that I eagerly suck down gratefully. She doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to gather the troops, which might be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me lately. Having a moment to try and collect myself makes a world of difference to my scrambled brain.
I’m in a hospital. Somewhere… “What state am I in?” I can’t help but verify; that’ll go a long way too.
Sammi with an i frowns, confused. “Washington.”
That makes less sense, actually. Okay. “Thanks,” I rasp.
She nods. “Ready for some people?”
I nod, and she finishes up what she’s doing before heading to the door. My brother comes first, which surprises me a little, but the rest of the three amigos are in tow. He comes right to the bed, relief evident throughout his entire body when he lays eyes on me. Despite the aches and pains, I scooch over to encourage him to sit on the bed with me. Even after everything, I missed him so much.
The warm press of his leg against mine unknots a fraction of the tension in my body. I slump back against this scratchy asspillow and hold my hand out for him. His shakes when he takes it, but it’s enough to show he’s not mad at me.
“How are you feeling, bud?” As soon as the word exits his mouth, he grimaces. “That was a dumb fucking question. I’m sorry.”
I squeeze hard enough that our bones grind, but it was a one-time-only feat because it zaps just about all my energy. “What is going on, Brady? I barely know where I am here.”
His face turns sympathetic. “Are you sure you want to get into all this? It’s a lot. We can wait and give you a chance to rest.”
My voice sounds like it’s been drug behind a car for about ten miles, but I force it to work, just for a little while longer. “I won’t if I don’t know. Please.”
