“You guys would get along so well, I swear. All the time when I’m talking to him, he says something that reminds me of you.”
I hum noncommittally; it doesn’t matter either way. “Maybe you should bring him here. It’s not like our family is much of an improvement to anyone’s, but we’re pros at avoiding them most of the time. Plus, there’s the beach. That’s always fun.”
I startle when Brady reaches out and shakes my shoulder. “That’s a great idea, little brother. I’ll try to get him to come out for spring break.”
My insides get all warm and tingly at the thought. Chase here, in this house with us. Maybe dreams can come true.
~~~
Somehow, the lingering childhood fear that I’d be in trouble for having a hard time getting out of bed never really left. For years, Brady had a carefully crafted system to hide every symptom that dared to appear. Then, well, let’s just say it’s not like I had a supportive environment after that either. But I was ready to face the music. I got up, I showered, then I came in here ready to have to defend myself and simultaneously beg for forgiveness. Promise up and down that it won’t happen again.
So tell me why I’m sitting here with a warm belly full of leftover pasta and getting a foot rub. I want to ask him about it, but I’m scared breaking the bubble of silence will ruin everything. Chase digs into a particularly good spot, and I can’t help but groan.
He smirks at me, and I decide to risk it. “What is the plan here? Melt me into a puddle then see if I can keep my head on straight for an argument?”
His pale eyes widen in alarm. “What does that even mean? I don’t get it.”
The foot rub doesn’t stop, but it does slow a little, like he’s preparing for me to take off. “I don’t even know. I just can’t figure out the game plan here, and I’d love it if we could get the show on the road already.”
Chase’s eyebrows are damn near at his hairline. “Are we going somewhere? I must have forgotten, I’m sorry.”
I groan, this time out of frustration. “You’re not listening. Can you just get on with whatever shit you have to say? Tell me I’m lazy, or worthless, or don’t care enough about you to push through. I’ve heard it all. Just say it.”
Before I can blink, I’ve somehow ended up on his lap with that damn handsome face peering up at me with a look I can’t place. “Chaos. Sweetheart. Have you been sitting over there thinking I’m upset with you?”
My eyes roll so far back in my head, they almost get lost. “No shit, Chase. I know it’s coming; let’s do it already.”
I’ll definitely cry, but I’d rather get it out of the way.
He laughs sadly, which is about the last noise I expected. “Baby, you’re doing the best you can. I’m not upset with you. Really, I’m just glad to have your company again.”
Color me gobsmacked, he actually looks like he means it. My face scrunches up and his eyes get all mushy. “For real? Because this is a one-time-only offer. Your only chance to pick a fight.”
His thumb caresses my cheekbone which is at complete odds with the attitude I was going for. I don’t melt into his hand, but it’s a near thing.
“Why would you think I want to make you feel bad about this?”
Gah. His damn eyes. I hate them. They’re too piercing. “Isn’t it obvious? There’s something wrong with me. That should bother you,” I snap.
Chase frowns, but doesn’t pull his hand away. Secretly, I love that. He doesn’t withdraw affection even when I’m clearly causing problems. “Bother isn’t the word I’d use, sweetheart. I worry about you when you’re not feeling well, and it hurts me to see you going through something I can’t fix for you, but I’m not bothered.”
I release a long-suffering sigh. “Can you not always say the perfect thing? Like sometimes, can you say something really fucked up? I’m really trying this whole ‘stand up for myself’ thing and you’re giving me nothing to work with here.”
He tucks his lips under his teeth, fighting a pretty severe smile. “You’re right, Chaos. I’ll do better.”
I throw my hands out exasperated, narrowly avoiding hitting him. “You’re killing me here.”
“All right, I’ve got one. That guy you play in the car all the time? Whatever his name is. What is to like about the guy when the entire album is him wailing and crying the whole time about random stuff and having a full-blown breakdown about it?”
I gasp. “Blasphemy! That album is a work of art. It’s intricate and raw and real.”
He smirks. “It’s whiny and dramatic.”
We go on and on, debating the intricacies of what makes music worth a damn while doing the most mundane things like making dinner and washing the dishes afterwards. Way later, when we find ourselves out on the back porch, enjoying the drizzling rain that seems to appear once a day, it occurs to me that he gave me exactly what I need once again.
He always does. He knows when I need to be held close and babied, knows when to let me stand on my own. And today, hegave me a full-blown argument because I’d been gearing up for one and needed to exhaust all that nervous energy building up in my bones.
Chase is everything I could ever need and want in my forever person. How he chose me, I’ll never understand, but I’m going to give this my absolute best and beg the universe every day to give me this win. Let me keep it. I promise I’ll never take him for granted.
