She sits up, lets go of my hand, and looks at me. “No, Camden. It was all me. And I need to explain why.”
Chapter 26
Ellie
Ilook at Camden as I work up the nerve to tell him my biggest secret.
But he deserves to know. I can’t stand the thought of him thinking that last night was his fault when it wasn’t. Especially after he opened up to me about his fear of getting married.
He was brave enough to be vulnerable and honest with me—to tell me something he’s never told anyone. And now I need to give him that same honesty.
“You were perfect last night, Camden. You did everything right. It’s just…” My heart races as I take a breath. “I’m a virgin.”
Camden’s brow lifts. My body tenses as I wait for him to say more. Is he weirded out? Does he think I’m a freak?
I quiet the thoughts in my brain and tell myself not to spiral. What I just told him is kind of a big deal. He probably needs a minute to process it.
He blinks at me. “You’re a virgin?”
I nod.
“So you’ve never had sex?”
I shake my head. “I mean, I’ve tried to. It just hasn’t worked out.”
“What do you mean?”
I play with the hem of my shorts. “I dated a guy a year ago. We tried to have sex a couple of times, but I couldn’t.”
Camden’s frown deepens. “When you say you couldn’t, what do you mean by that?”
My stomach is in knots as I pull up the memory. My cheeks are instantly hot. God, this is embarrassing. But Camden was honest with me, even though I could tell it made him uncomfortable. I need to do the same for him.
I tuck my hair behind my ear. “Well, you know how most women are kind of…tight…the first time they have sex?”
Camden nods.
“Damien couldn’t really get it in. We tried for a while, but it hurt too much. So I just gave up and told him it wasn’t going to happen. We tried a couple more times after that, but it was the same thing.”
I leave out the part where Damien lost his temper and then kicked me out of his apartment. And the part where he texted me for months, demanding that I give him money for rent and utilities, even though I paid my fair share when I lived with him and didn’t owe him anymore. Camden doesn’t need to know what a trainwreck my one failed relationship was.
Camden’s eyebrows knit together, like he’s ultra-focused. “So wait, did he do anything to warm you up? Did you use his hands or his mouth? Did he use lube?”
I shake my head.
Camden bites down, and the side of his jaw bulges. “Lazy motherfucker,” he mutters.
A second later, his expression shifts from angry to regretful.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean you,” he says quickly. “I meant your ex. It sounds like he basically just tried to stick it in with no warm-up or foreplay. He shouldn’t have done that. That’s lazy as fuck.”
“Oh.” I didn’t even think about that.
“Did he at least ask you to touch yourself first to help you get relaxed?”
I shake my head. My face is on fire. “I, um, I’ve never done that either.”
His brow shoots up. “You’ve never masturbated?”
