I exhale, not realizing I was holding my breath, but still, I can’t shake off the weight on my chest. I relax my hands at my sides and decide to do the only thing I can think of: I join her.
Lying next to her, I look up at the sky, and am shocked by how many stars there are.
She must be thinking the same thing because in a hushed whisper, she says, “There’re so many.”
I turn my head to look at her and find her already staring at me. My mouth parts, but I close it, unable to gather a thought to say out loud.
“I didn’t mean to put you through that.” She sounds sincere as she shifts, now lying on her side to face me. “I thought…no one would be here.”
“Tell me your name.” It slips out of my mouth before I can put too much thought into it.
She doesn’t immediately reply and as the seconds stretch with heavy silence, I try to think of something else to ask, but all I’m hyper fixating on is her name.
“Josefine.”
“Josefine.” I mirror her position, lying on my side. “I’m here for you, Josefine.”
“You don’t know me.” A tinge of annoyance coats her words.
“Let me get to know you,” I desperately goad.
“There’s nothing to know.”
“There’s always something to know.”
“I promise there’s not.”
“Josefine, please…” I trail off, grasping for something else to ask. “Wh-what’s your favorite color?”
She sighs with exhaustion. “Yellow.”
Yellow.
“Just yellow, or is there a particular shade of yellow?”
“I’m not a big fan of neon yellow.”
No neon yellow.
“I wish you would have let me go.”
“I couldn’t.” I don’t know why, but I blindly reach for her hand and surprisingly when my fingers brush along hers, she lets me hold it. “I’m here for you, Josefine.”
I expect her to counter it with something, but she doesn’t. She breathes out a weary breath, and shifts to be on her back, but keeps her hand in mine.
Lying on my back, I squeeze her hand a few times, but I don’t let go. I stare up at the sky, the thought of her jumping still replaying ceaselessly in my head. Too afraid to spark something that could set her off, I opt for silence.
We stare up at the starry sky, and after a while, when I finally figure out what I want to say, I look at her, but her eyes are closed. She could be pretending or actually be asleep—I don’t know, but I don’t disturb her. I let her be, but I stay awake and watch over her.
I inwardly groan, lifting an arm to cover my face from the light. God, it’s so bright, why is it so bri…fuck.
I push up on my feet, feeling disoriented, and blink rapidly so that my eyes adjust. Once they do, I look around, searching for Josefine, but she’s nowhere to be found.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I carefully walk to the edge, but I don’t look over.
I think I’m on the verge of hyperventilating, but when I turn, everything comes to a screeching halt when I spot what looks like a yellow Post-it note on the ground where I was lying.
Quickly grabbing it, I feel like I can finally breathe when I read it.
