“You know.” I drop down, sitting next to her. “You really have to stop trying to push me away. The harder the push, the more you make me want to stay.”
“In that case, please stay. I could really use the company,” she sarcastically says, but I don’t miss the smidge of sadness that tones her words.
“See, I thought you’d never ask.” I happily say.
Her mouth drops and for a second, I get lost in the shape of her lips and how full they are. I clench my jaw, shifting my gaze away, but then I get lost on how her face shines from the array of colored lights hanging all over the backyard. There’s this effervescent gleam about her. Like a moth to a flame, I can’t stop looking at her.
“Did you just use reverse psychology on me, Garcia?”
I inhale a deep, quiet breath, my lungs filling with the faintest hint of lavender and vanilla. I’m tempted to do it again, but I snap out of it, realizing I still haven’t answered.
“Some people call it that, others would call it getting played.”
“What can I do so you’ll leave me alone?” She stretches her legs out, crossing one ankle over the other.
I mirror her position. “I really like all those shades of green.”
“Don’t change the subject,” she chastises. “Answer the question.”
With Josefine, I feel like I’m standing on a fine line. She’s on one side while I’m on the other. It’d be easy to step back, stay safe, and keep my distance.
But I really don’t want to do that.
“Did you wear it for me?” That’s bold and too forward of a question, but I can’t help myself.
She scoffs and side-eyes me, brows drawn in and eyes filled with unfiltered judgment. “Self-centered much?”
I attentively observe the bright green that glimmers on her eyelids and the rhinestones that are scattered around her eyes. “You didn’t answer the question.”
“I didn’t know you were going to be here.” She pries her gaze away and stares straight ahead. “Weird to assume I’d wear anything for you when I don’t know you.”
“You know I’m a shortstop. You know how tall I am. You know my friends call my Danny, which you have yet to do. Annnnd you know my favorite color is green. I would say you know me.” I knock my knee against hers, watching her keenly.
She twists the ring on her middle finger, dropping her gaze to where my knee touched hers, then stares up at me. The mask she wears is impenetrable, so it’s hard to decipher what could be going on in her head.
I wonder what I need to do to see behind the mask. I’ve no doubt this is the real Josefine, but I know there’s more, and I want to find out all the things that make her who she is.
“I don’t know the specific shade,” she softly says.
“I don’t have a specific shade,” I answer just as softly as if we were sharing a secret.
I truly don’t but that changes today because my favorite shade is whatever Josie wears. And today happens to be a combination of all the green hues on her bikini top.
Lime green. Yellow green. Dark green.
“We shouldn’t be friends,” she wistfully says.
“Why not?” I inch a little closer, but still leave enough distance so I don’t hover.
The light she was just exuding, dims. Even though I’m not touching her, I feel her tense and shift uncomfortably.
I stiffen, my heart twisting painfully at the thought she still might want to end it all.
“You don’t want to waste your time hearing this.”
“Nothing about this is a waste of time. Talk to me. Are you having those thoughts again?” I fiddle with the tiny safety pin on my chain.
“Am I suicidal? Is that what you want to know?” Her words sound so hollow, but ingesting them feels deep; they’re hard to absorb.
