“You’re not going to get me this time.” I smile, still treading in the deep end. “Polo.”
“It’s going to happen.” He moves around, but after a bit, he stops and I laugh because he’s nowhere close to me. “Wait…” He’s processing. “Are you in the deep end?”
“I’ll give you a five-second peek.”
Daniel opens his right eye and scans the pool quickly before he does a double take and lands on me. His eyes close again and he blows out a breath.
“I believe in you. I really do,” I spur him on.
He gingerly moves through the water and once he’s where it dips off, he takes a step forward. I watch him with caution, ready to swim to him if I need to, but I know I won’t have to. I know he’ll swim to me.
“You got it,” I say under my breath. “Come to me.”
“Marco.” He breathes, slowly treading through the water like I’ve shown him how to do before. His head stays above the water, arms loose and relaxed at his side, legs kicking a calm and steady motion.
“Polo.” I try to maintain my composure the closer and more confident he gets as he treads to me. But when he’s in front of me, I can’t help but exhale a laugh. “You did it. Open your eyes. You’re doing it!”
He pries them open and for a second, he tenses up, but he doesn’t stop moving.
“I got you,” I say, only grabbing one of his arms, although I’m not really holding him afloat; he’s doing that all on his own. When I know he’s okay, I draw my hand away.
“Oh! I’m doing it, holy shit! I’m floating on my own.” He laughs disbelievingly, dropping his gaze down to his body under the water. “Josie, you did it. You?—”
“I did nothing. You came here on your own.Youdid it,” I proudly state, but my façade almost crumbles as my eyes burn.
“I’ve got a great teacher.” He clears his throat, blinking repeatedly.
“I’m proud of you.”
He nods, growing quiet as he soaks it all in. I do too.
These past seven months have been nothing more than awakening, invigorating, and really emotional. I didn’t only learn how to live again, I learned how to love, and opened myself to being loved.
I’ve also learned how to accept that I won’t have the answers to or control over everything. Especially regarding Mom. I’ve talked to Jarvis a lot and still do. She helps me understand and to a certain extent I do. I know it’s not my fault for how Mom treated me. I couldn’t have done anything differently.
But I know the tiny hole in my head won’t ever be filled because despite our relationship, she was still my mom. She died and that grief will never go away.
Understanding and accepting that part is hard because it’s closure that I know I’ll never get. But I’m learning to adapt and learning to live without allowing my guilt for what I feel for her eat me alive.
Which is why I finally let myself enter the aquatic center at the university and told Monica I wanted the position. I don’t know what’ll happen when the season starts—if I’ll make a career out of coaching, but I’m hopeful everything will be okay.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask him, breaking the silence and tip my head so that he’ll follow me back to the shallow end.
“Adrian. Fate. The cliff.” He follows close by me and when we’re standing side by side, he circles his arms around me. He releases a shuddering breath and pulls back, cradling my face in his large hands. “This might sound silly, but I think he sent me to find you that night. I hate that that’s how it happened, but I’m really happy I found you, Josie.”
“I wasn’t scared, but I contemplated it before jumping. Like I was waiting for something to happen,” I confess. “And then it did. You showed up.”
He kisses my forehead. “I’m never going to stop showing up. Even when I’m all gray and wrinkly, I’m going to be there. I promise. So get used to my hot face and hot everything because you’re never getting rid of me.”
I tip my head back and laugh, but it gets drowned out as he captures my lips with his. “So clingy.”
“You love me clingy.” He rests his forehead against mine.
I comb my fingers through his hair, smiling hard. “I do. I really do.”
EPILOGUE
DANIEL
