“Stop, don’t say that.” I’m full-on sobbing now into her shoulder, but she holds me. To make matters worse, Angel comes back with wet and dry paper towels.
“I’m just going to clean this up.” He kneels down, grabs my hand, and wipes the blood off.
What’s going on?
Vienna sits next to me, hooking her arm around my shoulder as he cleans my wound. “You’re going to be okay. We got you, okay?”
I manage to stop crying, only hiccuping every so often. It’s the only noise that drowns out the silence.
When he’s done, he walks back out again.
“You’re not alone,” she softly says and looks at me, a watery smile on her face.
“But—”
“No buts. There’s no backing out of this friendship. We’re going to figure things out, and you’re going to let me. Okay?”
That freaks me out, but I nod anyway.
“Where do you keep your cleaning supplies?” Angel asks.
56
JOSEFINE
April 15th
I anxiously fidgetwith my ring, staring at my spotless living room. “Seriously, why are you here?”
Vi had to step outside to answer a phone call, leaving Angel and me alone. We’re both standing in my living room that he cleaned up all by himself. I still can’t fathom that he did it or why.
He levels me with a stare as if he were assessing me. It’s the same look he wears when he’s going to pitch. It’s a bit unnerving and I hate it.
I think he senses what I’m feeling because his gaze softens as if he didn’t realize he was looking at me like that.
“To see how you were doing.”
“Why?” I sound defensive but other than when Daniel’s been around and the occasional seeing him on campus, we’ve never spoken to each other. “If you’re here to call me a bitch or whatever, go ahead. Get it out and leave.”
He smiles, amused. “Why would I clean your living room and then call you names?”
I shrug. My question sounds ridiculous to me too, but there’s no telling what could happen. After all, he’s Daniel’s best friend and I broke up with him. When I broke up with Bryson, despite his friends knowing what he did to me, they all called me names.
“I broke up with him. I kicked him out. He probably hates me. I figured all of you do too.” The words leave my mouth, tasting like bile.
He shakes his head, staring at me, puzzled. “Danny’s not like that. He’s too kind for his own good. I don’t think he could hate somebody even if he tried, especially you of all people. He cares about you a lot, more than he’s probably ever cared about anyone. Which is really fucking rude because I’m his best friend.”
My lips twitch but his other words settle like a hot iron to my chest. “You heard what he said. Let’s not pretend like that didn’t happen. Drunk or not, you know there’s some truth behind it.” I pause to gather my thoughts because they’re starting to scatter. I feel myself tipping over the abysmal edge at the reminder of his words.
“Yeah, he was drunk but despite what he said, I know it wasn’t directed at you. You just happened to be there.” He winces. “This time of year is hard for him, for all his family, and then Bryson pushed him in the pool and it triggered him.” He pauses. “And I know that’s why you’re not upset at what he said. You’re mad you missed the signs because I’m mad. Do you have any idea how much of my life I’ve spent with him? We practically grew up together. I know—well, I thought I knew everything about him, but I didn’t. I didn’t know he was struggling. He was always smiling, always laughing, always trying to make someone feel good. Even Bryson, who didn’t deserve it—Danny was there for him when he had bad games.” He rolls his eyes. “I should’ve seen the signs, and I’ll always hate myself for missing them.”
I scrunch my nose, hating how it stings.I’m not going to cry in front of him, is what I tell myself, but a stubborn tear spills because he’s not wrong.
I furiously wipe it away. “I didn’t want to break up with him, but I needed to do it. I don’t know how to emotionally help him. I’m so?—”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“What?”
