I watch, mystified as the soap suds from his hair run down his beautiful chest. Leaning in, I kiss softly down his throat, feeling the warmth of the water surrounding us in the cocoon. I could stay right here forever in his arms. The way my heart feels…at peace when he’s around. Like I can breathe again. Like maybe everything isn’t so bad, after all.
I can only hope he never leaves me again.
I can only hope.
***
The first night returning home, I barely slept.
Elijah kept his promise to me, not leaving my side and keeping the lights on.
And honestly, I’m beyond thankful for it. I don’t have it in me to lie to him again, telling him everything is alright. Once was enough, and now that Derrick is gone, I don’t want to keep anything from him ever again.
Which is why I was honest with him when I broke down in his arms the next night.
We were watching some documentary about elephants roaming together in packs.
I’m not sure why, but the way Elijah agreed to lay with me, bare chest to bare chest, holding me so tightly that I felt nothing but love, hit me all at once.
“What if I get to be too much?” I sniffled.
“I willneverget enough of you. Not now, not ever.” He whispered softly, kissing me on my temple. “I think you severely underestimate how special you are and that can be a dangerous thing.”
I suck in a breath, unsure I’m ready to hear such sweet words. “Eli—”
“You’re the most extraordinary person I’ve ever met. And I’ll keep saying it until you believe it. Honestly, I’ll say it even after that.” Elijah says, rubbing down my back.
I crumble into his arms, allowing myself to unfold and melt. Too tired to keep hiding. Too exhausted to deny it any longer.
This is what love is supposed to feel like.
Terrifying. Fragile. And completely unconditional.
Thisis real love. Flaws and all.
He keeps choosing me again and again, even when it’s hard. Even when it’s down right painful. As much as I wanted to keep my pain away from him, it caught up to us. And yet, he’s still here.
Two days later, the silence wasn’t as loud. We took this time to focus on being together. Healing. And just…taking a beat.
Elijah assured me that somehow he figured out the time off from the restaurant, so not wanting to pry, I allowed him to do his thing and just felt relieved to take a moment to not think about that stress.
Instead, we took this time to talk.A lot.Honestly, I think I’ve talked more this week than I have in the past five years. But, for the first time, it doesn’t feel so scary.
There’s no scary man waiting for me at the end of the tunnel if I slip up and say too much. It’s just E and I, and that’s all I’ve ever needed.
Every day for the next week, we spent a lot of time walking outside to get fresh air and strengthen my lungs, like the doctor instructed. Sure, it’s cold as all hell outside as we approach Christmas, but truthfully, it feels nice to get out of the house and move my body again.
Remaining active is something that’s important to me, and I don’t want Derrick to take that from me. Not like he can take anything from me ever again.
Damn, it’s still going to take some time to get used to that.
By the end of the week, we were walking down Main Street together.
Elijah pushes through theBloom & Brewdoors, and hands me my hot caramel macchiato. As much as I love it there, I’m not ready to socialize just yet. Elijah understands and grabs us both our drinks.
“Mmm, thank you.” I smile, smelling the sweet liquid wafting from the cup.
Elijah beams at me, leaning in to kiss me on the cheek before linking his gloved hands in mind.
