I’m more than thankful he’s not pressing me on how I’m feeling. Because putting it into words would be too complicated.
For a man who has hurt me so many times, in so many different ways to the point where I was willing to kill him with my bare hands…I can’t believe he tapped out so easily.
Fucker could’ve let me strangle him with my bare hands.
But, now that I’m here, with the love of my life in my arms, maybe just maybe I can finally put my anger down and accept that we’re finally safe and there’s no one around the corner waiting to burn us to the ground.
43
Elijah
The six days spent in the hospital came and went by in an emotional haze.
The night Tobias was rescued and rushed to the hospital was the night that I stopped breathing.
Hold on for me, Tobias. Hold on.I had repeated over and over again, wishing and hoping he’d wake up for me.
I’ve said it before, but this time, it was truth carved into bone: I can’t live without Tobias Voss. Not a decision, not a choice — a fact.
We are intertwined. In every lifetime, every universe. When he stopped breathing, so did I.
So, on the second day in the hospital, when his body temp and vitals stabilized enough for him to wake up and show me those gorgeous deep blue eyes of his, my lungs started working again. My heart started beating again. I started picturingour futureagain.
And our future looks bright. I’ll stop at nothing to make sure that this beautiful soul is happy, cared for and protected.
Because finally,finally, we’re safe.
I wasn’t sure if telling him the news about Derrick when he woke up was a smart decision or not.
I really battled within myself to hold off. But, he deserved to know. He deserved to know his shadow, his tormentor, his abuser was gone.I didn’t want him to go one more second without knowing he was finally free.
So I told him. And I’ll be there for him as he processes what that means, however confusing and overwhelming those feelings may be. Now that neither of us have any family left other than each other, I can understand how terrifying that may feel for him. But, Derrick was never family. And, as long as I’m here, I will work at showing him every single day how not alone he is, for the rest of my life.
On the third day, Tobias is moved from the ICU to a regular room. No more loud machines or tubes in his nose. Things are looking up.
While Tobias sleeps, Gwen passes by to give me an overnight bag. Since getting discharged myself, and making a big fuss about not leaving Tobias’s side, her help came in handy.
Especially when it comes to speaking with the detectives. I tell them everything I know, and pass on the information that Tobias has about Derrick. Gwen sticks by my side the whole time as I give my statements and when I tell them to go and come back when Tobias is feeling stronger, she makes sure I know that I’m being a great partner before I cry on her shoulder.
I’m not sure what I’d do without her either.
When the fourth day comes, Tobias is finally walking again. The doctor says if his progress keeps up, we can go home by the weekend.
“I love you so much, but there’s only so much hospital bed a guy can take,” I groan, giving my arms a big stretch. We’re walking the hallways of the hospital, as advised by Tobias’s doctor so he can test out his lung span. He’s been doing so great.
“Yeah, I’m so sorry this has been so hard on you.” Tobias laughs, his voice still weak, nudging me gently in the shoulder. I see him rub his chest, but smiling all the same. He’s still in pain, but he still tries to joke around with me when he can. I love him for that.
“What do you want to eat when we get back? I’ll cook you anything you’d like. Patient’s choice.” I wink, shoving my hands in my pockets.
His eyebrow arches as turns to look at me. “You? Cook?” Tobias smiles so hard, I can see the dimples pop out in his cheeks. Dammit, I missed those. “Um, how about a nice big bowl of cereal?”
I slam my hand on my chest, gasping as if I’m offended. “You don’t have any faith in me. Remember that delicious meal I made for you? You know—” I snap my fingers.
“The sandwich.” Tobias winks.
“Yeah, that. It was incredible, wasn’t it?”
“Only the best sandwich I’ve ever tasted.” Tobias nods. “Okay, yeah. I want that.”
