13
Tiff
“And then he turns it around like I’m the one who doesn’t know what they’re talking about.He’s just so …” I growled around the bite of honey chicken I’d stuffed in my mouth.
Hannah and I were having Chinese take-out at mine because it had been a long week for both of us, and cooking was more than we had the energy for.
Somehow, I still had the energy to complain about Sam.
“Tiff, can we not tonight?I’m tired.”
“Sorry.I don’t mean to make it worse, but … I just don’t understand what his deal is!One minute he seems like he might be alright, and then the next, he’s got the biggest chip on his shoulder and talking to me like I’m a child.”
“Sam, Sam, Sam.It’s all I’ve heard from you for the last five weeks.”
“Because he’s such a pain in my ass!”
“KC thinks you’re weirdly obsessed with hating him.”Fucking KC.I had a sneaking suspicion she was in love with Hannah, but I kept that to myself.For her part, Hannah had started phrasing things she wanted to say but didn’t want to face the consequences for as “KC thinks.”She thought I hadn’t noticed.But I had.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that you seem to care a hell of a lot about someone you don’t like.”
“That makes no sense.Of course, I’d care if I didn’t like him.Am I just supposed to not care that he’s a raging asshole?”
Hannah huffed, her shoulders hunched as she pushes the bowl away from her.“Right.He’s the problem here.It wouldn’t have a single thing to do with the fact that you hate change.”
“Excuse me?”
“You.Hate.Change.It’s why you’ve never been in a serious relationship,” Wrong.“Why you didn’t want to meet my parents,” Also wrong.“And why you hate that someone else is reminding you that you aren’t in charge.”I could write an ode to all the ways this was wrong.
“My issues with Sam—”
“I’m so sick to death of hearing his name,” she cut in.
“Whatever is going on with my work,” I restarted, “has nothing to do with what is between us.”
“Sure doesn’t seem like it.”
My own appetite disappeared.“What is really going on here?I know I’ve been complaining a lot lately, but this feels like something bigger than just my bad day.”
“Why aren’t we living together yet?”
Well, that came from left field.We’d never even talked about moving in together.“I didn’t know you wanted to.Is that why you’re upset?”
“I don’t think you’ll ever be ready,” she said, and I tried to catch up to whatever conversation she was having in her head because it was clearly not the same conversation I was having with her.
I opened my mouth to argue, but she halted me.“Actually, you know what I really think?I think you like being with women, so you can call yourself queer, but you don’t actually want to be with a woman.Maybe you just like fucking everything that moves, I don’t know.Or maybe you just like being bi because it makes you different from everyone else.You sure do love waving that banner around.”
On instinct, I slapped my hand so hard against the coffee table that my glass tumbled over, shattering against the floor.
Fuck.
What in the world was happening right now?
I took a long, steadying breath.
Hannah had pushed up from the couch, arms crossed against her chest, and I abandoned my urge to clean up the glass to face her.Her glare was cutting.“You need to figure yourself out, or else you’re going to end up alone.You might think you’re so much better than the rest of us, but the rest of us live in the real world.Not everyone has the privilege of free speech, Tiff.Some of us can’t take the risks you do.Some of us have to face the consequences.”
