43
Sam
It was done.Over.It was what I wanted.What I’d decided.The safer option.So, why did it feel like my heart just got up and walked out the door?
The apartment was cold and empty, and I was suddenly sure I couldn’t spend the night there.Not alone.Not without her.
Everywhere I looked, there was a memory of her.The way she’d draped herself over almost every piece of furniture in the room, Luna curled up and purring in her lap.The sound of her laugh as she plucked a book at random from my bookcase and inevitably found some way of making fun of me for it.The lingering smell of cinnamon and coffee that followed her everywhere.
It was too much.
After I packed an overnight bag and put Luna in a carrier, I called Harry.
It was late, but he was still up and refused to take no for an answer when he offered to drive in and pick me up.
Imogen and the baby were fast asleep when we arrived, and I dropped my bag and Luna in the spare room before joining my brother for a beer.
“How are you holding up?”
“Fine.”
“It’s okay if you’re not fine.”
“Tiffany and I …” How did I phrase this?Broke up?We’d never acknowledged it as dating.“Decided just to be friends.”It was not even close to what I wanted to say and sounded ridiculous, but there it was.
Harry had paused in raising his beer, decided to follow through, and was now watching me.“And how do you feel about that?”
“Fine.”I sounded anything but.
“Liar.”
I took a draw of my own beer, the cool liquid soothing my frayed edges.
“Will the suspension change your plans for the bar?”
“Probably, but I won’t know for sure until it’s fixed.I have to close for a week.But it should get turned over quickly, so hopefully, we can keep to the re-opening date.”
“I’m glad.It’s better in your hands.”
“Look, Harry, there’s something I’ve been wanting to say for a while.I’m sorry that I wasn’t here after mom and dad passed.You had so much going on—”
“So did you.”
“—and I should have come home sooner, or at least helped in some other way.”
“Sam, you have nothing to apologize for.”
“Funny.That’s just what Tiffany said you’d say.”
“Smart woman.”
“She’s a menace.”
“I would offer the same critique of you.”His hand stilled mid-air.“Holy shit, you’re in love with her.”
I wordlessly acknowledged it while taking a long drag of beer.There was no denying it, even if I wanted to.It would certainly make life easier if I weren’t.But from the beginning, I’d been entranced by her.
Pinpointing the exact moment when I’d known would be impossible because the only timeline I had become aware of was before and after her presence in my life.
