42
Tiff
Shock was an understatement.The bar had been forced to close.For a week, at least, and (if what Sam was explaining to me was right, and knowing him, it absolutely was) potentially longer.It all came down to what his lawyer could do to turn around the discrepancy on the original paperwork.
Sam was … I didn’t want to say confident because he looked like a wreck.But he seemed sure that once the week was up, the bar would be reopened.
From the moment I’d arrived at the bar, he’d been distant.I hadn’t realized how familiar I’d become with having him close until he was standing in his kitchen, the breakfast bar between us.Like a barricade.Or a shield.
Something was very, very wrong.And I was pretty sure I was about to find out what.
“Jordan offered me a job.”
Sam’s eyes snapped up to mine, genuinely surprised, along with something else that I couldn’t decipher.“He did?”
“Yeah, he, uh, asked me to head up his new bar in New York.”
“Are you going to go?”Was that hope or fear in his voice?
“Maybe,” I lied, hoping to get a reaction.
The need to be near him when he wanted space was eating at me, and I was really starting to hate having thesefeelings.Life had been so much easier when I only had myself to worry about.
Well, if Sam thought I would let a little thing like kitchen furniture stand between us, he’d learned nothing.
His body stiffened as I stepped close, wrapping my arms around his waist.I turned into the crook of his neck, breathing deep.Something about tonight made me want to catch every sense and bottle it up.Memorize it for posterity.
I had barely settled onto his chest before he pulled out of my arms, stepping back to increase the distance between us again.Ouch, okay.Something akin to a klaxon sounded in my mind.
My body entered defensive mode; one hip cocked against the counter, arms crossed.I continued to stall.Not my usual M.O., but once I crossed enemy lines, I knew tonight would be over.“Jordan is pretty great.Why have we never talked about how you used to work for him?”
Sam barely moved but allowed the subject change.“It never came up.He was my rock while I was figuring things out.Without him, my first bar would never have gotten off the ground.He saw something in me, mentored me, was the reason I believed I could open my own place.I learned a lot from him.After a rocky first month, we almost closed, and I thought I’d have to start over, but he came in, showed me where I could do better, and gave me the confidence to keep going.And it worked out.”
“I can tell he really cares about you.”
His nod was slow, his gaze locked on the floor.“He saw what happened with Piper, and I know he feels responsible for not seeing what was going on there, but there wasn’t anything anyone could do.”
“So, why do you still feel responsible for what happened?”
“Because it was my fault.”
“You were in love.You can’t blame yourself for that.”
His next words were chosen carefully.“That won’t be a mistake I’m willing to make twice.”
Seconds felt like minutes as my emotions scurried and settled within me.I should have learned my lesson by now (especially when it came to Sam).My heart was practically screaming at me just to LEAVE.THIS.ALONE.But not knowing had never worked out for me.“What’s going on with you?”
“You mean, on top of the fact that I might lose the one thing I really care about?”Not since we’d met had he spoken to me that way.The one thing he really cares about isn’t me.My heart splintered, but anger rose to the surface first.
“Fuck you.I know you’re upset right now, but you do not get to say that to me.Not now.”
Sam’s expression hardened, flexing his hands before he pounded a fist on the counter.I was immediately transported to my breakup with Hannah when I’d done the same.Unbidden, her words flooded back.Some of us can’t take the risks you do.Some of us have to face the consequences.
“I’m not you.I can’t say what I want and not care about the consequences.”
My breath caught in my throat.“I care about the consequences.”
“Do you?Because I’m not sure I’ve seen it.Not when you continually act without thinking.”Shakily, he ran a hand through his hair.He was a mess.I wasn’t faring much better.
