CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
A streak the color of pumpkin flies toward me as my head jerks up. The soft material hits me in the chest and I grab it before the sweater falls to the ground.
“You made us come here. The least you could do is pretend to look at the clothes.” Marissa, my assailant, battles me with her gaze from across the clothing rack. She’s a bit formidable with one hand resting on a popped hip, her head cocked in my direction, and those squinty eyes raking over me.
At least she would be if I didn’t know her so well. Marissa is a kitten, all claws, but fluffy and distracted by shiny objects and string. “I’m pretty sure you made us come here as part of my therapy.” I spot the silver sequined shirt right in time. “Here look at this.” I pass the shirt in her direction.
Marissa’s eyes light up for a moment, but then she checks the tag and they fall. “It’s a small. Don’t try to distract me with pretty clothes, Aspen. It won’t work.”
It was decided I needed some retail therapy so we’re back in the same thrift store Marissa and I shopped in last Thursday. It wasn’t so many days ago, but the me of now and then feel years apart. Thursday was full of opportunity. Thursday was excitement. Three days later and Sunday is full of dread. I don’t want to be here listening to Marissa and Amanda tell me how I have no reason to be upset, but it’s better than going home and dealing with whatever is waiting for me there. Today is all about the path of least resistance.
“I haven’t known you for as long as Marissa, but do you think you’re so upset over this Finn thing because you feel…disappointed you didn’t see the signs?” Amanda asks from farther up the aisle.
We haven’t mentioned the money since Amanda’s apartment. We’re now referring to it as “Finn’s thing” as if he’s walking around with some imaginary disease we’re too ashamed to mention in public. Billionaire VD.
“Is this your nice way of asking if I feel like a dumbass for not figuring it out sooner?”
Amanda pulls out a yellow long sleeve shirt as her eyes continue down the rack in search of some phantom distraction. “Maybe.”
I stop pushing the cart. “Of course I feel foolish. How could I not have seen it? I was too wrapped up in our new relationship to see all the signs. I’m a moron.”
“Pen, you are not a moron. We didn’t see it either,” Marissa chimes in.
“You weren’t sleeping with him,” I counter.
Marissa stops level with me on her side of the double rack. “And that matters how? Is his dick made from thousand-dollar bills? Because yes, that you probably should have noticed.”
“I met his friends. They were probably all sitting around laughing at the new dumbass Finn picked up. I can’t believe I was so clueless.”
“Aspen, I have three brothers. I can bet after they met you they called Finn a moron for not telling you. Anyone could have seen how this was going to blow up. Finn’s the real dumbass in the situation.” Amanda’s words make me think.
Marissa is quick to chime in, “Plus, he’s mega rich, but he had you shopping at a thrift store for your dress last week. Where were his Richard Gere moves? That’s his biggest mistake. If you want to be pissed about something Finn has done, I’d start there.”
I open my mouth and begin to defend Finn. He had no idea where I was dress shopping and it’s unlikely he’s ever seenPretty Woman. Men do not understand the allure of Gere. As a guy I doubt any of these things even crossed his mind. Yet, I can’t defend him. That would defeat my whole purpose here. The point is I don’t care about Finn’s money. I don't need a movie moment.
We go back to our shopping as the conversation dwindles.
The idea of what Amanda’s said grows in my head and I get worked up again. “You’re right!” This emotional rollercoaster is getting tiring. “Finn was the stupid one. How could he think he wouldn’t get caught? What was his game plan? Sure he’s some computer genius, but he’s a real fucktard when it comes to life.”
No one replies to my outburst with anything more than a head nod. They’re probably scared to spook me. We make our way to the jacket section, a tall long rack which runs the outer length of the building and I ponder the situation more as I slide each jacket across the rail not actually seeing any of them.
The Finn I’ve been around is sweet, kind, and adorable if even in a nerdy way. I can’t bring myself to believe all the moments we’ve shared were fake. He came from a good family and had three years of a high quality education, but they weren’t rich. Finn didn’t grow up with the kind of money he has now. He certainly doesn’t spend money like any billionaire I’ve known. Of course, I haven’t known any, but I’ve watched that Kardashian show a few times.
Finn doesn’t act or dress any differently than a regular guy who spends his free time playing video games and hanging out with his friends. I bet not much has changed for him in the last two years besides the number in his bank account having more zeros. He doesn’t even own a car. At least I don’t think he owns a car. At least he said he didn’t, but who knows, maybe he lied about that too.
Before we met Finn wasn’t even going to the office on a daily basis. He was coding new games in the solitude of his living room. He had to be bribed to attend his own gala last night. These aren’t the actions of someone who’s hiding a secret life of money, parties, and riches behind my back. He’s hiding from everyone.
“Do you want my honest opinion, Aspen?”
My first thought is to say no, but it’s Marissa and it doesn’t matter what I want. I’m going to get it. “Sure.”
“Finn was scared. You have to remember, men are taller versions of the small children they once were. The single difference is now they don’t have their mothers around to direct them on how to be civilized people.
“By the time he realized he felt more for you, he was already in too deep. Finn didn’t want you to freak out and make some horrible drastic decision.” She stops to give me a pointed look. “Turns out he had a reason to be worried, huh?”
I ignore the all-knowing look she continues to pass in my direction. “I just feel so dumb.”
