I know I care for Xavier, more than anyone, but I’m still terrified of what it’ll mean to commit to someone completely. I’m not just scared of losing his love over time, but of losing Xavier; his responsibilities within the Order could get him killed.
The lecture drags on endlessly, each slide a blurred echo of the professor’s tedious delivery. When class finally wraps up, I’m quick to gather my things, my curiosity over Xavier’s cryptic text piquing my curiosity.
The walk to the library is short, but it doesn’t take long for my anticipation to grow. I’m not so obsessed with Xavier that I miss him every minute of every day, but I do enjoy being with him.He’s the one person who allows me to be myself, loving every part of me that’s good and bad.
Ben used to be that safe harbor for me.
I push open the heavy door of the library, and the familiar smell of books and oiled wood brushes my senses. Hushed whispers are a constant buzz in the background, but the volume increases at my arrival.
Or maybe it’s because of Xavier.
I find him waiting for me at one of the tables in the center of the large room, resting his hip on the edge, his arms folded. He stands out. Not just because of his attractiveness but due to the way he occupies the space around him. It demands your attention.
He’s dressed in his usual black—shirt, pants, boots—all tailored perfectly to his body, accentuating his muscular build. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to the elbows, revealing his arms covered in intricate tattoos that never fail to draw the eye. Despite the chill outside, he doesn’t wear a jacket, seemingly impervious to the cold.
His dark hair is tousled as if he’s run his fingers through it a few times, and his intense gray eyes are fixed on me. A playful smile spreads across his lips as I approach.
The overhead lights catch his signet ring, making the diamonds sparkle. It reminds me of the scar I carry on my shoulder, a permanent mark from the night that changed everything.
As I close the distance between us, his gaze softens, but the intensity never fully leaves his eyes. He’s gorgeous, devastatingly so, and not just in his looks but in how he carries his complexities and his darkness like armor.
“Hey,” he says, his voice a low murmur. He straightens, stepping forward to pull me into his arms.
I look up at him, ignoring the stares we’re getting. “Hey.”
Xavier tightens his hold on me before taking my hand in his. He tugs on it, gently pulling me toward a less populated section of the library. The seclusion here offers a semblance of privacy, the tall bookcases towering over us, creating a barrier from the other students.
“Did you send me that text just so you could fuck me here?” I ask.
He quirks a brow. “And if I did?”
“I’d run.”
“I’d catch you and then fuck you even harder for that.”
“Oh boy,” I breathe.
He exhales. “Stop distracting me, little raptor.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask, my playful demeanor disappearing at his serious tone.
A shadow passes over his features before he speaks. “The Order has summoned me. I’ll be gone within the hour.”
My heart sinks at his words, a familiar dread filling my bones. I nod, trying to mask the fear his announcement dregs up. “I understand.”
His eyes search mine. “While I’m gone, I need to know you’re safe. Go home for the break. I don’t want you at the fraternity or anywhere near the Order when I’m not with you.”
“I don’t want to go home. Not when me being there could endanger my family.”
“It won’t.”
“How do you know?”
He cups my cheek, stroking it with his thumb. “Because I’m doing everything I’m supposed to. There’s no reason for the Order to hurt you, or anyone else. Is McKenzie going home?”
“I’m not sure. It’s been weird between us ever since that night in the infirmary.”
Xavier nods. “It’s going to take him some time to get over you. In the meantime, just make sure he doesn’t try to fuck you. I’d hate to have to kill him when I get back.”
