“He said he wouldn’t arrest us if we could roll a joint better than him.”
I wipe my eyes. “And we failed miserably! I think getting arrested would’ve been easier. My dad blackmailed me into doing every single chore until I graduated. My mom didn’t touch a laundry basket for years. What a wild night.”
“Don’t remind me. I helped you clean your creepy attic.” She covers her mouth, unable to contain her giggling. “I’m still embarrassed about the whole thing.”
We taper off into a comfortable silence, then I add, “He would’ve loved seeing you again. He always asked about you, even after?—”
“I got engaged?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “What did you tell him?”
“That you looked happy and that you deserve to be.” I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “Even if it wasn’t with me.”
She intertwines our fingers.
Our conversation switches to easier topics. Charlotte shares about the time she went to hot springs in Japan, then, I tell her about Ember’s first day of training and how she snuck into Paige’s office and ate half her work anniversary cake.
I didn’t notice that the water had gone lukewarm until Charlotte reached forward and twisted the hot water handle. Steam rises as fresh heat pours in. Getting lost in conversation like this reminds me of our late night talks in the car when we dated. We’d chat for hours, where we were free from the rest of the world. Life seemed so simple back then, even though that was far from the truth. A grin tugs at my lips as I recall first seeing her again on the side of the highway. Our relationship was wonderful, but I love getting to know Charlotte all over again now.
A long silence stretches between us. She scoops up bubbles in her hand and blows them toward her feet as I trail more water across her arms. She speaks first. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.” I feel her take a deep exhale, then there’s a long pause.
“I went looking for you,” she finally says, voice barely above a whisper. “At my wedding.”
I freeze. The washcloth falls from my hand into the water. “What?” I blink. “When?”
She stays facing forward. “An hour before I was supposed to walk down the aisle.” She swallows. “I finished getting ready. My dress and makeup were on. My hair was done. It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. I thought it was typical wedding day jitters, but while standing in front of the mirror, all I could think about was you.”
My chest tightens. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
“Clara noticed something was off.” Her voice shakes. “She cleared everyone out of the room and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was still in love with you.”
The lump in my throat is back. My eyes are burning. “You did?”
She nods. “I thought she was going to call me an idiot, but she told me to go before it was too late. So I ran.”
My jaw tightens as tears well up. “Charlotte—” I halt my words, unsure where to start. My mind spins as I retrace every footstep I took on her wedding day.
She takes a shaky breath. “I panicked. I flew down two flights of stairs in my wedding dress out the back door where you said—joked about meeting. But you weren’t there, Kez. You were gone.”
My vision blurs, and when I feel Charlotte sob, tears stream down my face. All this time, she was the brave one, and I was the coward?
She cries quietly in my arms and continues, “I broke down in some back alley. I was a fucking mess. Clara found me and snuck me back to the room. She calmed me down, then asked if I still wanted to marry him.”
“What did you say?” I whisper, already knowing the answer.
“I said yes,” she manages through a sob. “Because what else was I supposed to do? You were gone. Eli was waiting. Three hundred guests were sitting downstairs. The cake alone cost almost half my dress. Every piece was perfectly in place, except for me.”
She walked down the aisle instead of into my arms. My chest aches. My tears won’t stop. “I’m so sorry, Charlotte. I’m so sorry.” The same words keep falling out of my mouth, as if they would change anything.
All I can do is hold her and rest my head against her and weep. Every time I try to speak, my heart breaks all over again. Charlotte’s been carrying so much for so long. My chest aches seeing her soul laid bare in front of me. Of all the years I’ve known her, I’ve only seen her cry twice. Both times at funerals.
Perhaps sometimes things have to end in order for us to become who we’re meant to be. Otherwise, Charlotte wouldn’t be sitting here in front of me after all of these years. She made choice after choice for someone else’s benefit. Meanwhile, she was withering away. Then it hits me. This cabin isn’t just for her to make a comfortable living or even for her clients. This place is a new life. One where she starts again, but this time fully herself. This cabin is hers, but it’s also mine. I blink and return to the present.
Charlotte wipes her eyes. “Eli was a good husband. He loved me. I loved him.”
