A choked sob spills from Sebastian when I call him my boy. The words just spilled from my lips, but they're true. He's still my boy, even if right now it feels like I'm an inch away from losing him.
"I was seventeen when I started studying your body language and expressions. I noticed your body, and it ignited something inside me. I was captivated by your smiles, the way you moved, your expressions. Everything."
"Then, I was eighteen when I jokingly called you Daddy. You only laughed and shook your head, but it was like somethingsnapped inside me in that moment. I wanted you to be my Daddy so much that it hurt."
My breathing quickens with every confession from my boy. But he doesn't stop here.
"I was nineteen when I sneaked into the house while you thought I was away with friends. The door to Aziel's room was slightly ajar, and I watched you have sex with him. I imagined it was me whom you thrust into. The need to be the one you touched, who you claimed, was so overwhelming, it almost brought me to my knees."
The reverence, the obsession, and jealousy in his voice are so strong and violent in their own way that all I can do is just listen, mesmerized by his emotions, by his story of how he fell in love with me. Even if it's twisted and wrong.
"I was twenty when I decided I couldn't suppress my feelings anymore. I decided you'll be mine. No. Ineededyou to be mine."
The certainty in his voice, the sheer possession, makes my heart race.
"What did you do next?" I ask, keeping my voice even.
"I created a plan in my mind. Several, in fact, but they got ruined when you got married to Aziel."
"Still… you didn't give up?" It came out as a question, but I already knew the answer.
"Of course not. You're mine!" These words should make me angry. Instead, my heart skips a beat. "I orchestrated the cheating. I logged into Aziel's phone, downloaded a hookup app, and hid it so he wouldn't see. I connected his phone to mine and chatted with guys for over a month."
I close my eyes as memories flash before my eyes. The night when I found the chats on Aziel's phone is still clear in my mind. My whole world shattered when I saw the photos they exchanged.
"And the photos?" I ask.
"I hired a professional to create these photos. All I needed was one nude photo of my brother to make it realistic, and I got the photo from your messages."
My head spins as I try to come to terms with all of this.
I expect more memories to flash before my eyes, but instead, all I can focus on is the pure ownership in Sebastian's voice. He claimed me ashislong before I even looked at him as something more than Aziel's little brother.
He went to insane lengths to break me and Aziel. Fuck, he even sneaked and watched us have intimacy. Yet all I can think about is how much it must have hurt him to see me with Aziel.
Deep down, even as I walked away from Sebastian in the bar, I knew I would always return.
Why?
Because he's the man I love.
Killer or not, the reason for my divorce or not. It doesn't matter. My heart already belongs to this man, and nothing can ever change it. It goes beyond an unhealthy relationship, beyond obsession. It's in a whole zone most would call crazy and condemn.
His darkness woke a darkness in me. I'd be a fool to deny it. I'd be a liar if I said I don't crave more of it.
But first, I need to know one more thing.
"If I were yours, then why did you leave me?"
Silence meets my question. My hands start to shake because my boy was so confident when he told me everything so far, so what could possibly terrify him to tell me the rest?
"Your father…" He whispers the words, and I'm convinced I heard him wrong.
Please, let me be wrong.
"What?"
He sighs deeply, and then he blurts everything. "Your father. I didn't want to leave you, I swear. But your father was friendswith Aziel's father. They wanted you two together from the beginning, that's why they put you in one school, even though we lived far away from it. When you divorced, he started digging deep. I couldn't have that, Daddy. I couldn't."
