Anger replaces the confusing emotions inside. Anger at Sebastian for leaving my side.
Earlier, I said that the darkest moment of my life was when Aziel cheated, but that's no longer true.
This – this right now – feels like the darkest moment of my life.
All because Sebastian isn't by my side.
But there's something else too. Our moments changed me.
Sebastian changed me.
I'm already knee-deep in the same darkness as him. And it hits me with certainty I've never felt in my life that I don't want it any other way. I'm not just in love with Sebastian, I'm becoming something else. Something far more dangerous. And fuck, I welcome it. Because it feels likefreedom, because it feels likeus.
But before I decide anything, I need answers.
I dial Sebastian's number, and he picks up on the first ring.
"Daddy?" His voice is rough like he's been crying all this time, and I fucking hate it.
"I need you to tell me everything. No more lies."
He's silent on the other side of the phone, and I take another swig of my whiskey as I wait.
I need to hear the truth from his lips. I need him to be honest with me, let me see what he's done and why.
I need to understand, or it'll drive me mad.
My mind is a mess, and I think back to Aziel's last words. How I'm a fool, nothing more than a puppet in Sebastian's hands, how our relationship is a mistake, and one day I'll want Aziel back.
He's so fucking wrong.
I know my boy loves me, even if his love comes with blood and manipulation. And even if I'm a puppet in his hands, then so be it… at least, he's holding me. What we have would never be a mistake for me. How can it when Sebastian has burrowed under my skin in a way no one ever did and I didn't think was possible.
As for going back to Aziel… I would rather die than go back to him. Even if he didn't cheat, I'll never forget how he turned hisback on my Sebastian when he was a kid, when hisadventurerfather beat him almost to death. Yes, Aziel was a kid too, but what about when he grew up?
I still want to pummel his face just for that.
"I'll…" Seb's voice breaks, and he clears it. "I'll tell you the truth. I promise."
Do I trust him? Can I trust him?
I shouldn't. Yet, I do.
I'm silent as I wait for him to start speaking.
"I was twelve when I met my soulmate.You," Sebastian says with a small but confident voice.
"I was sixteen when I watched a movie with you and Aziel. I didn't want to watch with Aziel, but I wanted to do it with you." There's a pause, and I wait patiently. "Do you know why I never watch movies with others or hate when I'm interrupted?"
"Why?" My voice sounds rough even to my own ears.
"Because I was watching a movie when Aziel's father dragged me to the basement."
Never in my life have I known such anger as when Seb speaks about those times. I wish Aziel's father were alive so I could kill him myself.
"I'm so sorry, my boy."
Fuck. My heart hurts.
