I’m surprised Ella hasn’t come pounding on the door yet since it’s been a while since we’ve done more than text back and forth. I haven’t even bothered breaking the news that I conceived on our first try.
My body feels…wrong. I don’t know why or what will make it feel like it still belongs to me, but I feel so empty.
Which is weird being as there is literally a life growing inside of me.
Making my way to the bathroom to relieve my bladder and shower, I stop at the tall mirror and turn to the side, studying my body. There’s no change. Not yet. It’ll be a couple more months before there will be a noticeable bump, or at least that’s what I read online.
Not like I have any experience with pregnancy or pregnant people. I’m the youngest in my family, so I didn’t even get to witness my mom’s body change with each of her children.
I don’t know the little person in there, haven’t met them…but I love them. How could my family so easily turn their backs on me simply because I presented as an omega? I know it’s because I’m a male omega, but most of society celebrates that.
Well, they fetishize us, but still.
Even with all the alphas and betas who’ve begged for my time, who’ve paid to be with me through a heat, who’ve paid to literally fuck me, I never felt as though any of them cared for me past the bedroom.
Sure, I played it off, pretended I was living the life of my dreams.
Actually, I kind of was. All the pleasure with no commitment.
Ella is living the same exact way by choice, except she actually has a job, makes her own money, and is hyper independent.
With a heavy sigh, I use the toilet, shower, brush my teeth, and head downstairs. The scent of coffee wafts through the house and a small smile plays on my lips. I can hear Amy moving around in there.
I didn’t see her this weekend since she’s off unless she’s needed for parties or whatever. She’s kind of become my only friend other than Ella, especially since I see her more often.
“Morning,” she says without turning from the stove. “French toast okay for breakfast?”
“Only if you’re eating with me,” I tease, lowering onto a seat at the table.
It was weird at first, having someone cook for me then serve me as though I’m royalty. But I’ve gotten used to it over the past few weeks.
“Sorry, buddy. I’ve got a lot to do today. Laundry is backed up from the weekend.” She winks at me over her shoulder, and I blush.
The laundry is backed up because not only was she not doing it daily as she does through the week, but Alex and I made a bit of a mess on my bed.
The pack bed.
Theirpack bed.
When she turns, my smile begins to fade. I’d only just started to embrace this new life, started to think of my life with this pack in future terms.
But that bed isn’t mine. It’s theirs. It’ll belong to the next omega they might hire to carry another child for them.
Or maybe a beta or omega they find in the future and fall in love with, one who gives them whatever it is I’m lacking.
Maybe they’d prefer a female in the mix. Or maybe they wanted someone a little softer, a little curvier than I am.
It’s not all about you, dumbass.
Yeah, well. It’smyheart that’s breaking. It’smylife that has been turned on its head and will be flipped right back over in ten months to a year.
As Amy plates my food and sets it and my sweetened mug of coffee in front of me, I smile at her, letting it drop the moment she turns the corner to get to work.
For such a huge house, the walls have begun to feel as though they’re closing on me the longer I sit here. Alone. Again.
And it sure as hell sounds as though I’ll be spending even more time alone the next week or longer.
Choking down enough food to keep from getting sick – got to stay healthy for the baby – I put my plate in the sink and head back upstairs. I’m not sitting here alone all day.
