Damn it. If they leave the room…well, I’ll just roll out of bed and follow. I’ll speak up, tell them exactly how I feel.
And hope I don’t end up hurting my own feelings.
“Didn’t. I think we can all agree that has changed.” Holy shit. That was Desmond. He and I haven’t really done anything sexual in a couple weeks, but he’s so affectionate during the hours we’re together, no matter how fleeting.
I can almost say without a doubt Alex is feeling this pull toward me that I’ve been feeling toward them. Never have I been around an alpha or pack whose scents feel like…home. That’s literally the only word I can think of when describing the way I’ve felt from the moment their pheromones entered my nose and embedded into every fiber of my being.
“We made him an offer. He was adamant about not wanting a pack. The deal was we help him with his heat, and he tries for a child for us. He’s pregnant. As long as he stays healthy and the baby is delivered safely, we will not demand he alter his entire life and standards for us,” Mason says.
Shit. They’re leaving my room. I don’t know if they plan to stop in my living quarters or leave this section of the house altogether.
But I want them to know I’ve changed my mind. Not because of their status, their wealth, or even their incredible looks.
Every cell in my body knows these alphas are mine. The thought of any other omega or beta being in their life turns my stomach and sends rage burning through my veins until a very uncharacteristic growl rumbles from my throat.
I mean, it’s more of a rattle, nowhere near the deep sound of an alpha, but it’s still there.
Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I tug on a pair of sweats laying on the ground, rolling the waistband when I realize they belong to Alex and are way too long on me, then shuffle from the room. I’m not technically trying to keep my steps quiet, but I’m also not trying to sound like an approaching elephant.
As their voices grow clear again, I slow my approach.
“He’ll carry our child, we’ll give him the choice we already offered, then we’ll make an appointment to have the bond dissolved. End of fucking discussion,” Mason says.
My heart feels as though it has shattered into a million pieces.
He was the first to bite me, to bond me. Sure, I begged him for his bite when I was lost to my hindbrain, but I also warned them all to keep their teeth to themselves regardless of what I said.
Alex had zero qualms about marking me last night. He asked whether I was sure, then punctured my bottom lip with hiscanine and blew the bond between us wide open. He’d lapped at the wound, tending to it, and ensuring it wouldn’t become infected.
Then we made love again before dozing off.
What had felt as though it was the beginning of a life I never dreamed possible – nor could have ever imagined I would want – is quickly becoming nothing more than a business transaction.
Yes. I was aware of that when I agreed to this. I just thought they were beginning to feel as deeply for me as I was for them.
That sense of rejection I constantly battle slams into me so hard it takes my breath. The moment I feel a hint of their concern through the bond, I mentally slam the thing shut.
If they regret bonding me, they no longer get to be privy to my emotions. I’ll keep those to myself until the day the baby is born.
Until then, I have some major decisions to make as to whether I’ll be able to stomach being around three men my heart and soul have claimed or walk away from a human being who’ll carry half my DNA.
CHAPTER 32
Hudson
When the alphas invited me to dinner last night, I forced a smile and went through the motions. I felt…
The only way I can describe how I feel is hollow. Empty.
We’d eaten together, watched a movie with them snuggling me from every direction. I’d been on Alex’s lap sideways, my head resting on Des’s lap with my legs and feet on Mason’s.
I’d soaked up their pheromones, but kept my emotions and the bond on complete and total lockdown. It’s better if I shut this shit down now before I fall deeper.
Any deeper and I’ll end up in a hole I’ll never be able to escape.
And I’m the only one to blame. I’m the only one who is carrying around the fucking shovel.
Today is Monday. The alphas returned to work while I was asleep. They warned me last night about long days at the officeand the courtroom. Suggested I plan some shopping trips – with a guard in tow, of course – as well as inviting Ella over for some visits.
