The day I’d heard the first voice, my life had been ruined. I refused to let them ruin Elio, too. I just wasn’t sure what the fuck that meant for either of us.
When we got home, Elio was smiling from ear to ear, his stomach full without being uncomfortably so. I tried to match his excitement, but I wasn’t sure how good I was doing. The voices had followed me home, haunting me the entire time, looking for a reaction I wasn’t giving.
“I don’t think I could handle any popcorn, but I’m down to snuggle on the couch for our little marathon.”
Popcorn, just like last time. The last time we’d ever watched any of the show together, just before he’d left our lives. “Yeah, that sounds really good, Sunshine.”
We took our spots on the couch, me lying sideways with my back against it and Elio in front with my arms wrapped around him. I could just barely see enough above his head to find the app I needed, scrolling down to episode five hundred eighty-six. The lights were off, with only the glow of the TV as our light.
Elio leaned back a bit, looking up toward me. “Do you remember what was happening here?”
“Not one bit.”
“At least we’ll both be clueless.”
Together. We’d be clueless together, with Elio in my home, in my heart, and in my arms. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t hear some parts over how loud the voices were being, or that the depression weighing in my bones made me want to close my eyes and fall right to sleep instead, or that I could see at least three shadows lurking in the corners, waiting for me to notice them. All I had, and all I needed, was my Sunshine. I just wished I could appreciate him the way I was supposed to, without my brain clogging everything up.
I thought back to the night we last watched this show together, and how serene everything had felt. I clung to that feeling, keeping it stored within me for strength. I had no idea what was going to happen next. Honestly, I couldn’t find it in me to care in that moment.
But I did know that I wasn’t going to let my demons or issues ruin anything for Elio, no matter what it took.
Chapter Twenty-Six
I never thoughtI’d be in the driveway of my parents’ house with Elio by my side again. It was surreal to think about, questioning how many years had gone by since we’d ridden home together. To the same home.
How many times did we sit outside in the car, arguing over what we’d have for dinner that night? After a long day of classes together, we’d go in and raid the pantry and fridge together, eat together, and hang out together until we went to bed. If I missed him, it was easy to just go down the hall to his bedroom, knock on the door, and bother him. Though it was never actually a bother to him. Or, I didn’t think so, anyway.
Elio finished one of his breathing exercises, his hand in mine. I squeezed it, trying to give him some sort of comfort. We’d only be staying for the weekend, since I had work and he had therapy. Our bags were in the back seat, ready to betaken in, and I’d asked my parents ahead of time to wait until we came in, rather than coming out to meet us.
We both needed time. The house wasn’t the exact same anymore, but I knew there was one bedroom Mom and Dad had never touched. It’d been evidence of Elio existing in our world, even after he’d left.
There were many nights I’d gone into the room, looking around at everything he hadn’t taken with him. All the way down to the blankets and sheets on his bed.
“I think I’m ready. Or, as ready as I can be.”
I looked over at him, searching the green in his eyes for something different from what he was telling me. “Okay, Sunshine. Mom, Dad, Star, and Moon are all going to be in there. But you know you’ll be okay, right?”
He nodded, pulling my hand to rest over his heart. “Because you’ve got me, and you aren’t letting go.”
“Exactly right.” I leaned over the console, pressing my lips to his. The feeling never got old—a swoopy warmth deep in my gut every time we kissed.
We unbuckled our seatbelts at the same time and got out at the same time. I opened the back seat to grab our bags and stood beside him, holding my hand out to him. He took it, gripping it tightly with his.
I could feel the tremble run through his body as he let out a breath. “Do you think they hate me?”
I had to close my eyes for a second because of how painful that question was. After everything he’d been through, it made sense he’d feel that way. It fucking hurt, though. I pointed to the door of the house, sweeping my hand toward the right side. “Remember that plaque?”
He squinted, leaning his head forward to see it better. “Is that…”
“Yeah, Sunshine. They’ve kept it all this time, always remembering you. How could they hate you?”
“Fuck, Cres. I can’t believe that.”
“You don’t have to right now, but you’ll be able to feel it when we go in. They know not to try to hug the shit out of you or anything like that, but I have a feeling you’ll still be able to feel it.”
“Okay. I’m ready.”
Together, we held hands and walked up to the front door. Just to the right, just beside the doorbell, was a rectangular metal plaque.
