I lugged our bags out of the trunk, hoisting the extra one carrying our lunch onto my shoulder. “Yes, we’re still in New York. Come on, let’s explore.”
He took his bag from me, a pep in his step I hadn’t seen before. We walked together, marveling at the orange and yellow trees around us. The trail was short and easy, which was mostly for my sake. I wasn’t outdoorsy in any sense of the word. When I worked out, it was in a gym or my home.
Any wrong move, I was sure I’d stumble down a cliff. The trail was gorgeous, with beauty only nature could create, but it wasn’t the focal point.
We stopped just in front of a rock bridge, two large hills on either side blocking our view. Hazy fog swirled just above them, shrouding us on either side. I was content to walk behind him, trailing only close enough to see his reaction.
Once he stepped onto the bridge and looked to his left, I could see his shoulders drop. Every muscle in his body seemed to relax, an unseen weight falling off him. I watched as he stood in the middle of the path, his hands placed evenly on the rope that kept us from going over.
From the side, I tried to look for a hint of joy on his face. Maybe a jaw-aching grin, or the subtle shake of his shoulders from relived laughter.
Instead, Crew’s eyes were shut. He leaned his head back, thetendons in his neck stretching with him. There wasn’t a single crease on his face. No laugh lines, or the ever-so-small hint of fear that seemed to follow him. Under the glow of the sun, he finally looked at peace. His nostrils flared as he inhaled the serenity in the air before he opened his eyes once more.
I could see a shiny gleam in them. Unshed, unwanted tears built on top of the other in his water line, the shine accompanied by the twinkle of the water in front of us.
Setting my bags on the ground, I walked up beside him. Crew didn’t look my way. He was focused on watching the stream below us as it cascaded against the rocks, a steady system flowing together seamlessly.
The beauty of nature was awe-inspiring. The beauty in Crew was devastating.
Heartbreaking.
Breathtaking.
We watched the rush of the stream, encased by a wall of rock on each side. Slowly, almost carefully, his hand gripped mine. Our fingers laced together, holding strong against the gusts of freezing wind.
“I had no idea a place like this existed here. It’s amazing, Price.” Crew never took his eyes off the water, his gaze traveling along the horizon as he took in every detail.
I knelt to dig the makeshift picnic out of the extra bag I brought. “Yeah, it’s gonna freeze over soon. I wanted to show you while I still could. You told me once that you miss the hidden spots like this back home.”
“You remembered that?”
“Of course I did.”
“I can’t believe you did this for me.” His voice got softer.
When I looked up, he was already staring down at me and the spread I’d prepared. I finished stretching the blanket out for us to sit on and chose a side that let me see the river in front of us.
“Come on.” I beckoned him with a slap to the ground. “Let’s eat for a minute.”
It wasn’t anything too fancy. We had simple, delicious sandwiches and an array of different cheeses with their complementary fruits. There wasn’t much for us to say for a while, opting to listen to the rushingsounds of the water below us. As uncomfortable as I was in the great outdoors, having Crew there helped me out.
He picked at his sandwich, going for cheese and fruit more often. “There was a huge creek about six miles away from my house growing up. Willow and I went there all the time.”
“Yeah? I can’t imagine how awesome that would be.”
“It was perfect. You had to go through hell and back just to find it, but that made it better. We were never bothered down there because nobody knew it existed.” His laugh was quiet and breathy. “Willow always beat me when we raced to get there the fastest. One time, I tripped and split my knee right open. She carried me all the way back home to get cleaned up. I still have the scar right here.” He pointed to his knee, which was covered by the sweatpants he wore.
I had my fair share of childhood battle scars from jumping off slides or slinging myself into the gravel after a harrowing attempt to fly from the swing set.
It hit me after a moment that in all those memories, I’d been alone. Making friends was never my strong suit. “I’m glad you had her growing up. She’s a really good friend.”
Crew tore the leaves off a strawberry, a melancholy half-grin on his face. “She is. Without her, I don’t know where I’d be. If I had to go through Mom’s death without her…” I saw him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Shit, I don’t know if I’d have survived that.”
The implication was difficult. I knew, albeit deep down, that he could’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts before. After walking in on him hurting himself, it became even more likely.
I wiped my hand on my joggers before holding onto his knee, needing his touch to comfort both of us. “I’m glad you survived it. That you still are.”
He stared down at my hand. I squeezed his knee but didn’t let go. He needed to understand how much I meant what I was saying.
