Of course, Levi didn’t. He’d taken it back to his apartment. He couldn’t leave it there for the next shift to find. “You came back…for the gun?” Levi asked, not unkindly.
Shiloh dropped into a crouch, wrapping his arms around his knees, once more making himself small. “It wasn’t just for the gun. I wanted to come back two days ago…but I couldn’t. He wouldn’t let me. I…fucked up again.”
What the hell did that mean? Fucked up how? Levi stayed silent, watching the boy unravel before him. He was talking to himself, shaking his head, making these sort of low keening sounds as he dragged his nails over the thighs of his jeans.
Levi couldn’t take it anymore. He dragged him to his feet, hugging him once more. “Hey, don’t do that. Don’t hurt yourself.”
Shiloh trembled in his arms, voice muffled against his chest. “I can’t go back without it. I can’t. I can’t, Levi. You don’t know what he’ll do to me. I can’t go back on the roof again.” He whimpered. “I just can’t.”
Levi. That was the second time he’d said his name. How did Shiloh know his name? He looked down to ask, then answered his own question when he remembered it was stitched onto his pocket.
Oh, right.
“You can’t go back to the roof… What does that mean, baby?” Levi asked.
Shiloh ignored the question, ignored Levi, completely closed off. He didn’t acknowledge Levi at all. Just stood there, limp, gaze fixed but unseeing. Shiloh was broken. He was so terribly broken in every conceivable way.
Finally, he whispered, “Please, let me have the gun. I’ll do anything you want.”
What the hell did that even mean? Why was he so eager to get the gun back? The serial numbers were burned off, and Levi had wiped down the gun to make sure there were no more traces of Shiloh on the weapon. Why would Shiloh’s dickbag brother—Micah?— be so desperate to get the gun back? Unless it was another test. Another reason for Shiloh to fail so Micah could punish him yet again.
Levi’s heart pinched. He couldn’t be the reason Shiloh got hurt. Not again. He sighed, once more tipping Shiloh’s chin up to meet his gaze. “The gun’s at my apartment.”
Shiloh stared at him with pleading eyes, his hands petting over Levi’s chest, dropping kisses along his throat up to his ear in a way that smacked of desperation. “Can we go? Please? Can weplease,pleasego get the gun? I swear, I’ll do anything you want. Anything. Anything at all. I just can’t go home without that gun.” His voice faded to a whisper. “Please, don’t make me go home without that gun.”
Levi’s stomach churned at the way he said ‘anything you want.’ “You don’t have to do anything. Let’s go get the gun, okay?” The hope in Shiloh’s eyes clawed at him. “Okay?”
Shiloh nodded, his relief evident.
The walk to Levi’s apartment was only a few short blocks away. Shiloh stayed quiet, his small hand tucked into the crook of Levi’s arm like they were on a date. Once more, his heart clenched. There was something so…desolate about Shiloh. Looking at him made Levi physically ache. How was he supposed to let him go back to his brother? He just couldn’t. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t safe.
When they reached the apartment, they walked to the third floor, then punched in the code to the door. Inside, Nico sat on the couch in his underwear, an entire pizza in his lap, one slice hovering halfway between the box and his mouth as he looked at them. His brows shot up when he saw Shiloh. He was probably wondering why Levi was bringing home a hook-up who looked like he’d lost a prize fight.
“Uh, hi. Who’s this?” Nico asked.
Shiloh and Nico watched each other, unblinking. Levi wasn’t sure if this was some kind of display of dominance or an unofficial staring contest, but it was too weird to let it continue. “Shiloh, this is my roommate and best friend, Nico. Nico, this is Shiloh.”
Nico’s startled gaze jerked to Levi. He made his fingers into a gun shape and put it to his head. “ThatShiloh?”
Levi shot him a nasty look. And he said Levi was the one who lacked the decorum. Right. “We’ll be in my room.”
Why was Nico up at two a.m.? It could have been anything from anime to jerking off to amateur porn. With Nico, it was just better not to ask.
“What happened to your face?” Nico called a second before Levi slammed his door shut.
Levi pushed a bunch of magazines and dirty clothes off the bed then gestured for Shiloh to sit. If he’d known he was going to have company, he would have at least stashed his dirty laundry in the closet.
“Sorry,” he muttered, skin hot. “I know it’s a mess but I wasn’t expecting company.”
Shiloh shrugged, squinting at the light like it was bothering his eyes. “It’s okay. It’s nice. Cozy.”
Levi turned on the LED lights that lined the floor and ceiling, bathing the room in green and blue before shutting off the jarring unflattering bulbs. He leaned against his computer desk, as far away from Shiloh as possible, trying to give him space.
Levi gestured towards him vaguely. “Do you…want to take off your hoodie? You have to be sweating.”
Shiloh played with the drawstring of his hood. “I don’t think I should,” Shiloh mumbled.
“Why? Are you naked under there?” Levi teased.
