Shiloh shook his head, the barest hint of a giggle escaping even as a blush crept from his neck to his cheeks. “No.”
Levi gave him what he hoped was an encouraging smile. “Then take it off. It’s hot in here.”
Shiloh’s face fell and he shook his head. “Really, I’m fine. I think it’s better if I leave it on.”
Dread settled over him, thick like syrup. What was he hiding? “Take off the hoodie,” he said, tone harsher than intended.
Was it a weapon? More injuries? He needed to know.
“O-Okay,” Shiloh said, giving a stilted nod as he jerked the zipper down and peeled it off, leaving him in only a sleeveless tank.
Guilt kicked Levi in the face when he realized Shiloh only complied out of fear. He thought Levi would hurt him if refused.
Fuck.
“Hey, I’m—I’m not going to do anything to you. You get that, right? I just wanted you to show me what you’re hiding.”
Shiloh’s look was guarded, like an abused animal caught in a trap. He swallowed audibly, then peeled the tank top off, too. Levi hissed, stumbling forward and falling to his knees before him. “Jesus, Shi,” he whispered. “What did he do to you?”
Just like his face, there were dozens of bruises on his chest, his torso, his arms. It was hard to truly understand the full extent of them beneath the colored lights, but some looked a deep eggplant, while others were an ugly mottled green. There were bruises the size of fingerprints on his upper arms, even around his neck.
The injuries on his stomach and ribs concerned Levi most. They were large and prominent, roughly the size of an orange. Levi reached up to trail his fingertips over the one along his side, watching, fascinated as Shiloh’s muscles quivered in response.
“What did he do to you?” he asked again, unable to stop himself from tracing each bruise.
Shiloh shivered, leaning into Levi’s touch, voice breathy as he said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You can’t go back there,” Levi said, his other hand joining the first, watching, fascinated, as goosebumps erupted in their wake.
Shiloh gave him a sad smile, his hand cupping Levi’s cheek. “It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m just…tired. It looks way worse than it feels, I promise. I know I lost it back there and everything butit wasn’t because of him. I swear. I-I’m used to”—he gestured to the bruises—“all this.”
“You shouldn’t be used to that,” Levi whispered.
Shiloh forced a laugh. “Since Mal went to jail, I just…haven’t been myself. I keep messing up. Usually, I’m more careful. I know better, but lately…” He shook his head. “Really, I’m fine. Micah says I’m a bit of a drama queen, always looking for attention. I’m usually not this bad, though.”
Levi seethed, watching Shiloh choke out his lies, his eyes begging Levi to just believe him. But he couldn’t. How many times had Levi made excuses for his mother’s behavior? How many times had he lied to cover up her abuse and neglect? Laughed it off, even?
Levi understood where Shiloh was coming from. He used to be him. Levi had let his mother gaslight him for years, doing her best to convince him that every beating, every cruel word, every man she let touch him…was all Levi’s fault. Until Jericho rescued him.
Levi didn’t want to be one more thing Shiloh feared. He gave him a soft smile. “You don’t have to defend him. I understand.”
Shiloh’s shoulders went back, jaw thrusting forward, the laugh that escaped his lips acidic. “Defend him? Who’s defending him? I’m just telling you how it is. I brought this all on myself.” A tear slipped down his cheek. “I was supposed to kill you.” He reached out, hesitantly cupping Levi’s cheek. “But I just couldn’t do it.”
Levi brushed it away with his thumb, earning a startled look from Shiloh. “You don’t have to?—”
Shiloh shook his head, dropping his hand as he cut him off. “Don’t say it. Don’t tell me I don’t have to go back, because I do. Don’t tell me you can save me, because you can’t. I can see in your eyes that you’re the hero type. But save it for someone who still has a shot at being a whole person.”
Levi swallowed the lump in his throat, choking on his name. “Shiloh. That’s not?—”
Shiloh gave Levi a heartbreaking smile, one that told him he was resigned to his fate. “I’ll be okay, really. He always feels guilty after beatings like this. He’ll be nice to me for a few more days at least.” He looked away from Levi, voice trembling. “As long as I do as I’m told.”
Levi ran his fingertips over the bruises on Shiloh’s arms. “Doesn’t it hurt?” he asked, mystified at how Shiloh wasn’t writhing in pain.
Shiloh ignored the question, looking Levi in the eye. “I like when you touch me,” he confessed, breathless, taking Levi’s hand and pressing it to his chest, right over his heart.
Blood rushed from Levi’s brain to his dick so fast he grew light-headed. “Yeah?” he asked, voice thick.
Shiloh slid Levi’s hand down his bare stomach. “Yeah.”
