He grins. “Never. But I’ll try for you.”
“I’m serious, Dorran.” I kiss him again. “Please.”
His expression softens. “Okay.” He steps away from me and joins Jayce, and I watch as the two of them turn around the corner before heading into a different part of the hallway.
“Alright, then.” Alex slumps onto the floor and presses his back to the wall. He then looks up at me and offers me a hand. “Sit with me, Cigs,” he says. “I can call you that, right? Or doesLittleSwanapply to all of us?”
I laugh, and Varsha chuckles. As I lift my dress and settle down next to Alex, she does the same against the wall opposite me.
“I’m pretty sure Ledge will have your ass if you call Cignette ‘Little Swan’ in his presence,” she states.
Alex hums. “Then I’ll definitely do that,” he sasses. “He’s irresistible when he’s angry.” He gives me a wink. “You should see him when he’s in the zone. He could give Leatherface a run for his money.”
I tip my head back and laugh again, but this time, it’s louder, lighter. And for the first time in my life, I feel like I trulybelongsomewhere. It’s something I don’t wanna let go, not when I’ve only just found it.
29.
“Iwas their client,” Alex says. “I’d hired Ledge to kill my uncle.”
My eyes widen. “I’m sorry,what?”
Varsha chuckles. “It’s true; he was.”
“I’m going to need more than justthat, guys,” I say.
We’re sitting on the hallway floor, waiting for Jayce and Dorran to return. And so, to spend the time I have on my hands, I decided to ask Alex and Varsha if they’d be comfortable in telling me how they met Dorran, and how they came to be a part of his crew.
“My parents separated when I was six,” Alex starts. “My dad changed states, remarried, and didn’t want anything to do with Mom and I. Soon after, the two of us started living with her elder brother, Declan, and things were back to normal. I mean, as normal as can be for a middleclass bunch like us.” He lets go of a breath and picks at a lint on his pant. “Declan owned a diner, and Mom and I helped him with it as much as we could. I had to drop out of school because we were always low on cash, so most of my time was spent in the diner’s kitchen – cooking.
When I turned 17, Mom was diagnosed with AML – acute myelogenous leukemia. Doctors said it’s treatable, but again, we didn’t have the money for it. I…” He swallows, and his eyes glaze over a little. “I had to watch her die,” he whispers. “She wasn’t the strongest person I’ve known, but she still stood strong against everything that came her way. Until shecouldn’t.” He laughs and shakes his head. “But life isn’t fair, especially to people like her.” He sniffs a little. “So anyway.” He waves a hand in front of his face. “A couple of years after Mom passed, I came out to my uncle; told him I’m gay. And, well, let’s just say he didn’t take it well. He beat me up so bad, I could barely see straight for days. He took me to church, tried to “change” me by showing me “the Lord’s way”, but I kept telling him that who I was, was never going to change.” He’s staring straight ahead – at nothing – as if he’s lost in a memory from his past.
I place a hand over his and give it a squeeze. “That’s awful, Alex. I’m so sorry you went through that.”
“Thanks, Cigs. I appreciate it.”
A person’s sexuality – whatever it may be – is their identity, sure, but it’s also their own damn preference and business.Nooneis allowed to judge another for who they love or feel attracted to. Having a sense of independence in one’s desires is so important, and so fucking beautiful. It shouldn’t be taken away from anyone.
I rub the pad of my thumb over Alex’s palm. “Is that why you had him killed?” I ask him.
He clicks his tongue. “No. It was because he tried to lock me inside his diner’s walk-in freezer,” he says.
“What?”
He gives me a rueful smile. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure he thought he could get away with it – call it an accident, maybe – and wash his hands of asinnerlike me. But unfortunately for him, I managed to escape.” He turns his hand and twines his fingers with mine. “I ran to the sheriff’s office, told Solo everything, and he offered to assign Jay, Varsha, and Ledge to kill Declan. I immediately said yes, but I also had to keep my mouth shut about everything if I didn’t wanna end up underground.” He chuckles. “The four of them came over to my house a few days later like they were there to have a fucking friendly dinner or something – all casual and shit – and when Jay saw me, I think it triggered something in him, because he was on Declan in seconds. He finished him off before the rest of us could say anything, and Declan was a skinny motherfucker, so he didn’t stand a chance against my guy.” He laughs again. “Ledge asked if I wanted to get a farewell retribution, to which I saidhellyeah, and put all my strength in smashing Declan’s head in with the first thing I could find: a metal vase.” He grins. “That feeling of his skull cracking open for me was just…” He shudders a little. “Sohot. I still remember how Jay had looked at me in that moment – like he was transfixed by me. It’s something I’ll never forget, and it’s also one of the reasons I asked Solo if I could join the crew.”
I chuckle. “You and Jayce are adorable together.”
Alex gags, and Varsha makes a sound between a cough and a snort.
“What?” I ask, glancing between them.
“If you call us adorable in front of Jayce, he’ll probably choke you for it,” Alex tells me.
“And then have the street dogs feast on your bones,” adds Varsha.
I raise a brow. “Seriously?”
“Yup,” Alex says. “My husband doesn’t doadorable.”
