“I’ve met a lot of assholes, and you’re not one of them.From what I’ve observed and heard around town, you’re a brilliant man, but sometimes highly intelligent people have trouble connecting.It’s not a flaw—not unless you’re a narcissist.”I rubbed my nose when it tickled.“You’re too smart for the rest of us.We don’t engage your intellect.Maybe that’s why I’m so good with people; I’m not a genius.”
“Bullshit.You run this town.”
“Any idiot can be in charge.”
“Idiots can’t run a damn thing.They just follow the assholes.”
I laughed softly and slid the cuff down my wrist.“What kind of work do your brothers do?”
He cleared his throat.“Law enforcement stuff.Kicking ass, taking names—the usual.They think I chose security and computers because I don’t have strong fighting instincts, like it was a backup plan or something.”He rumpled his hair.“It’s what I’m interested in.”
“Your instincts looked pretty sharp back at the jail.”
“I didn’t think that through.”He continued staring at the game box.“Sometimes I have trouble finishing a fight, so that could’ve taken a wrong turn.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, only that his avoiding eye contact made me think he might be ashamed about something.“You instigate fights and then walk away?”
“Not exactly.I hold back.”
“Why?”
“Because I might flip my switch.”
Lucian must have been an emotional person to have to hold back during a fight.From my experience, Chitahs rarely went primal during a brawl.
I tilted my head.“So you repress your emotions?”
“You could say that.If I go primal, I might do something stupid and wind up killing someone.”
“What’s it like?Flipping your switch, I mean.”
He scratched his jaw while thinking about his answer.“Mmm, I guess it’s like when you shift.You’re not in control anymore.The only difference is we’re the ones driving the car.It’s like our brain shuts off.We don’t understand language or know how to reason.Everything that makes us civilized is stripped away.”His brow furrowed.“It’s like being possessed or something.When we’re in that state of mind, we’re driven by raw emotions.The most primal part of our brain takes over.”
“How do you control your emotions to keep it from happening?”
He sat back.“Fear.That keeps me from flipping my switch.I suppress the anger that normally awakens that side of us.That’s why I can throw a punch without my fangs ever coming out.”
“They came out today.”
Lucian shook his head as if silently reprimanding himself.
It hadn’t occurred to me that Chitahs might struggle with the actions of their inner animal.“I can relate.My tiger’s never caused any problems or randomly attacked anyone, but there’s always a chance.My animal and I have a trusting relationship, and she obeys when I want her to stay under.But we only have so much control.Once they come out—especially if we fall unconscious—we have zero say in their actions.Others might provoke them to violence.That’s one reason Shifters love it out here.Too many people live in the city—too many things can go wrong.”
“Interesting.”Lucian had a rich timbre to his voice when serious.
He rarely smiled except while beating me at checkers, but that also meant his smiles were genuine, never forced.And they were also wickedly playful.It made me wonder what might have happened if he had given me that look while healing my thigh.
I sipped my wine.“Let’s have an icebreaker.”
His eyes flicked up with interest.
“You worry too much about offending me, so let’s simplify it by getting to know each other.What’s your favorite snack?”
His eyes sparkled.“Does that include dessert?”
“No.”
“Chocolate-covered almonds.You?”
