“Bullshit. I got your favorite ribs. Get in here, baby girl.”
I pulled out a vinyl chair and sat down next to him. He’d somehow fit both pans of meat on the table along with the side dishes.
“Where’s the salad?” I asked.
“Saving that for later. And before you start up about me being paunchy, I ate fruit last week.” He tossed Harley a rib.
“You shouldn’t feed him bones. I think that’s supposed to be dangerous.”
“He doesn’t eat them.” Crush scooped a spoonful of potato salad onto both our plates. “I taught him that. Licks the meat clean off and brings me a shiny bone.”
“Neat trick. So how have you been?”
“There you go again,” he said, chewing on his meat. “Acting weird. We just saw each other.”
“Can I help it if I love my daddy?”
“That’s a given. But you’re acting like someone died.”
I pulled a large strip of meat from my rib and licked my finger.
Flavorless.
When Crush got up to get more napkins, I tossed my meat to the dog.
“What’s wrong with your hand?” he asked.
Did nothing get by this man? I kept a closed fist on my lap. “Nothing. Just a temporary light tattoo for my—”
“Undercover job?” He tossed napkins on the table. “Uh-huh.”
I stared at my plate of ribs, pulled pork, fries, potato salad, and buttered yeast roll. I’d give anything to be able to eat again. Just smelling it made me salivate. “Tell me a story about Mom. One I haven’t heard before.”
Crush set down his rib and stared at the sauce on his fingers. “Why do you want to hear that now?”
When the wind whistled against the window, I got up from my chair and turned the heat up on the thermostat. Crush always kept it unnaturally cold to save on his electric bill. “Because I never asked before. You always told me the same stories, but after a while, you didn’t want to tell them at all.” I sat back down. “Make it my Christmas present.”
After wiping the sauce off his hands, he cracked open a bottle of orange soda and stared at the fizzy bubbles hovering over the mouth. “Your mama was the prettiest girl I ever saw. Brown hair, brown eyes—I fell in love the second I met her. But she was also a tenacious woman who knew what she wanted. It was your first Christmas.” He chuckled, eyes glittering as he glanced up at the window behind me. “You were just a little thing. She got a job working in some shitty diner as a dishwasher. This was before she started working that office job. Your mama was better than that. My buddies were willing to set her up with a good-paying job, but Bonnie was trying to distance herself from that world.”
“The Breed world, you mean?”
He took a swig. “I’ve told you how she felt about that. Thought it was too dangerous for you. She had a plan to get a job working for this fancy company that made computers, but until they had an opening, she took whatever came along to pay the bills. I paid what she couldn’t. Anyhow, she really wanted to buy you this stuffed lamb that came with a blanket, but she couldn’t afford it. I told her you wouldn’t know the difference between that and something cheap, but she had her eyes set on this particular lamb. She thought if she could buy you that for Christmas, all would be right with the world. I told her I’d pitch in, but she didn’t want help.”
“How expensive could a toy have been?”
Crush dipped his roll in barbecue sauce. “Times were different back then. I didn’t have my own garage, and we were both trying to keep up with the bills. A baby will eat a hole right through your wallet. Diapers, formula, car seats, doctor trips—it never ends. And every time we turned around, you were growing out of your clothes. I helped out with all the baby stuff, but not the apartment or luxury items. Your mama was a proud woman. She didn’t want assistance or handouts. She wanted to do everything herself. But more than that, she wanted you to be proud of her and see how hard work pays off. I get it now. I didn’t then.”
I pushed around my potato salad with the fork. “So what happened?”
“She put aside a little money every paycheck. Bonnie was already in hot water with the electric company. Assholes shut off her power for three days in the middle of winter. Sometimes in life, you gotta choose between the things you want and the things you need.” Crush tossed Harley another rib before polishing off his roll in one bite. “Christmas Eve rolls around, and she finally has the money after her boss gave everyone a little bonus. She’s been eyeing that thing in the store for weeks since she first saw it. We always spent holidays together, so she had me watch you while she went out to buy it.”
“I don’t like where this is going,” I said with a chuckle.
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t so great with babies in the beginning. But this isn’t about me. Your mama marches down to that store just as proud as can be, scoops up that lamb and blanket, and goes to the register. Then the lady tells her the price, and your mama flips out. They jacked up the price right before Christmas, hoping to make money off those last-minute shoppers.” Crush tore off a strip of meat with his teeth. “She came back all quiet and empty-handed, so I didn’t say anything. Later on, we’re cooking dinner, and she runs out for bread. I get a call two hours later from one of my buddies at the station. My life flashed before my eyes. That’s a call you never want to get.”
“Was she okay?”
Crush flashed me his silver tooth in a wide smile. “The store was closing. I guess she figured they’d be too busy with all the last-minute shoppers to notice anything. Bonnie grabbed the lamb, replaced it with an envelope containing the money, and took off. She triggered the alarms. What I wouldn’t give to see that woman running down the street with a lamb, security chasing after her.” Crush was fighting back laughter to finish up. “I had Tank come over to watch you so I could bail her out. What a sight. Stains all over her shirt, and the smell!” He pounded his fist on the table and made Harley perk up with his rolling belly laugh. “They found my Bonnie Bluebird hiding in a dumpster, clutching that dirty lamb and blanket.”
