We reached the roof, and a damp wind made me shiver. This was my sanctuary. Any high place made it feel as though all the miseries of life were beneath me and the heavens were within reach.
I approached the edge and straddled it, one leg hanging over.
Niko cautiously followed, kicking his foot out until it met with the ledge. He used his hands to feel the width, which was plenty wide enough to sit on. He sat with both feet on the roof and then drew his hood back. The wind picked up his long hair, making him look like a fictional hero in a comic book.
“I let him go because people deserve second chances. The rogues who wander the streets aren’t all as far gone as you believe; they’ve begun their journey down the wrong path, but who knows where they’ll end up?”
“He’s just going to victimize someone else.”
Niko rested his forearms on his knees, his crystal eyes looking ahead. “Can you kill them all? The higher authority won’t arrest juicers; there aren’t enough prisons to keep them in, so they have to concentrate on capturing the most nefarious men they can. Maybe your Creator didn’t explain how it works, but the growing human population keeps us from acquiring new land, and the higher authority doesn’t want to use up all that valuable property for prisons. Locking up immortals for what is deemed a lesser crime solves nothing. There are some things we simply have to turn a blind eye to.”
“I can’t.”
“Then stop the crime at hand, but don’t become the executioner. Juicing is the equivalent of theft, and if someone broke into your home and stole a television because they have an addiction they can’t control, do you feel it’s just to take their head?”
“Maybe it depends on how big the TV is.”
Niko smiled and drew in a deep breath. “Winter’s coming. I can feel it on the tip of my tongue. Maybe you should think about finding a way to earn an honest living. It will put shelter over your head and give you honor.”
“And who’s going to hire an illegal rogue? Anyhow, the Breed world is for people with specific talents. I don’t mean just the business owners and finance guys, but everyone else can use their gifts to barter, train, track, or advise. There’s no honor in mopping floors.”
He tipped his head to the side. “Have you considered approaching the Mageri and coming clean?”
I huffed out a laugh. “I’m illegal, and I’m also a crossbreed. Accepting me isn’t the issue so much as the possibility that they might kill me after discovering what I’ve been doing. They’ll think I’m a liability. I’ve heard stories about how they’ve put down new Learners who turned rogue before becoming independent from their Creators. They scare me.”
Niko turned to face me, gingerly hanging his left leg over the wall. “Throw yourself upon their mercy. Trust that they will make good judgment and assign a Ghuardian to mentor you.”
A Ghuardian was a person assigned by the Mageri to train a Mage who was without a Creator. The name was old and spelled differently since it had a unique meaning among them.
I shook my head. “I can’t trust anyone with my life. No one wants me, Niko. Not unless they have a hidden agenda. I can’t put my life in the hands of someone who doesn’t value it.”
“Perhaps you’re looking at this all wrong. You’re waiting to be chosen by fate, by life, by others.” He reached out and touched my forehead, then trailed his fingertips down my brow, nose, mouth, and chin—seeing my face with his hand. “But it’s you who needs to do the choosing in life. You won’t always make the right choice, but that’s how we grow.” He lowered his arm and waited for a reply.
“I did. I asked Viktor, and he turned me away.”
Niko inclined his head. “You give up so easily. If you want to be a part of Keystone, then you must do something to workwithus, not against. He’s not just looking for raw talent; he needs to know you have integrity. Show him you’re a team player who doesn’t need to always be the hero.”
If anyone else but Niko had said that to me, I might have tossed them off the roof. Instead, I stared down at the streetlights.
He gripped the ledge with his hands. “You tasted a different life with Keystone, and now you want it.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. No sense in denying the truth.
“It’s good to want things. Just make sure you understand what it is you’re really seeking. Darius was once a young Mage who was given more land than most young Learners. Maybe he misunderstood the gesture and assumed his Creator was impressed by material things, and that’s why he began extorting men for money. After he was stripped of his possessions—including the land—he probably felt like an inferior man. Years later, he can purchase any property he desires except for the one that matters. I’m certain his Creator shamed him for allowing that gift to slip through his irresponsible fingers.”
“He’s an evil man who kills humans. You can’t justify that.”
Niko sat up straight, his eyes seeming to look at mine. “That is true. But we’re not born evil. His desire to reclaim what he lost blinded him from making the right choices. Sometimes what we desire the most can change who we are, and it’s up to us to decide if that’s for better or worse. You must learn to control those desires so that you’re always on the right path, even if that means never attaining or holding on to the thing you want most.”
Niko’s words resonated in my head, and I considered the meaning. It was hard to ignore advice from someone as old as him, especially when he had nothing to gain from giving it freely.
“Youtoldme to speak to Viktor, but now you’re saying I shouldn’t want to join Keystone?”
He swung his leg back onto the roof. “What I mean is that you can desire something without letting it be the force of every wrong decision to obtain it. If you want to be a member of Keystone, make sure you want it for the right reasons. But consider what you’ll do to reach that goal.”
The wind lifted my hair. “Darius has a chance of getting his land back if he keeps doing what he’s doing. Even if it’s wrong, he’s got a better shot than if he’d done nothing at all.”
“Look at what kind of man that’s made him into. Just imagine an alternate universe where he had made different decisions. Are you so sure he would have never reacquired it? Sometimes we have to relinquish those desires because we attach them to goals of no importance. Ambition can destroy you if you don’t learn to balance it with sacrifice.” Niko stood up and reached out for my hand. “Now put your big-girl panties on and make a choice.”
