“How about you come over one night after Gabby goes to sleep?” she asks. “We can have an adult beverage?”
“Are you sure?”
She backs up a step. “Only if you want.”
“Oh, I do, Andonia. I do. I also would like to take you out, treat you right.”
“Oh.”
“Somewhere where they don’t cook with onions.”
“Cute. Good night.”
I pinch her cheek. “Think of that as a kiss,” I say, and she gets in her car.
Andi’s taillights as she drives away remind me of her blushing cheeks, bright red and glowing. I hope to see her cheeks more than her taillights.
The weekend arrives, and somehow, I survived the week unscathed. Reid and I didn’t have our adult beverage, which is also a relief. I’m not ready for all of that—
“Ouch!” My own pain disrupts my train of thought.
It’s Saturday afternoon. Gabby is glued to an iPad in the waiting lounge of a neighborhood day spa, while a semi-nice (semibeing questionable) Eastern European woman removes all the hair from my downtown.
“Try to relax,” she mumbles while smearing another round of hot wax way too close to my va-jay-jay.
“Maybe I just want the sides,” I suggest.
“No! Men these days like it bald. I’m telling you.” Her accent becomes heavier with every word.
I close my eyes and try visualizing a beach, the ocean lapping in the background, my feet stuck in the sand. It doesn’t help.
“Ouch.”
“Aach, you’re like a jumping jelly bean. Stay still,” Helga demands.
I behave, and just when I think my time is up, she speaks again.
“Let me do your legs. They’re like a shaggy dog.”
She’s not wrong. It’s winter, and what’s the point of shaving if the hair is going to grow back when I get goose bumps?
Before I even nod my head, Helga is rolling wax up and down my thigh and pulling large paper strips full of hair off my skin.
“Your husband’ll be happy.”
“No husband,” I tell Helga.
“Oh, but you have beautiful daughter.”
“Yes, she is. Her father was more of a sperm donor who upped and ran the moment she was born.”
“So, hot date? Good. Time to get back in the saddle, get yourself a new baby daddy.”
“Um, sure.”
“Okay, lift your legs and bend them back. Hold still.”
I do as Helga says. Without warning, I feel a hot smear where no one has gone before.
