I buried my face in the pillow while Jude told his son to call if he needed anything. Would he tell me the same thing at the end of this week? And would I ever call if he did offer?
I wasn't sure—and that was why the pillow needed to stay between us tonight.
chapter twenty-four
Audrey
Today's vocabulary word: counsel
I trudgedalong the side of the road, my strappy beige wedges gathering gritty dust with every step. Not even an hour past dawn and the dry, thin air of the high desert was already oven-hot. That sun was unrelenting.
I held my phone over my head, flailing in search of a signal.
I'd woken to ribbons of early morning light sliding in through the sides of the curtains and the absolute certainty that Jamie would know what to do with my present state of affairs. That left me to sneak out of the room and far enough away from the motel to unload every detail of the past three days on her.
Except I couldn't get a signal.
This left me wandering the streets of Grandwood Valley in shoes that would need to be laid to rest after this trip and paying no attention at all to where I was going.
I finally stumbled onto a stable signal outside a livestock feed store and ducked into a wedge of shade while I waited for Jamie to answer. It was early for her, even with the time zone difference.
"Hello, my love," she sang, her voice bringing a rush of relief to my chest. "How's it going? Tell me everything."
"How long do you have?"
She cackled. "It's moving day, so maybe just the highlights, but I'll have all the time in the world for you tomorrow."
"Oh my god, that's right." I pressed a hand to my forehead. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten. "How's it going?"
"Well, I'm already counting down the minutes until I drop my ass into a kiddie pool in the backyard and drink my weight in moonshine margaritas, if that answers your question." She laughed again and I heard the shriek of packing tape in the background. "You know I'm so happy that my roommates are starting on new journeys and everything is wonderful and joyous for them."
"But," I prompted.
"But I am twenty-nine and moving in with my dad," she said, her tone flat.
"I know, honey," I said.
"I'm working very hard at telling myself it's not a failure or a step backward. I'm going to have a real kitchen and so much more space—and let's not forget about the kiddie pool in the backyard. There are no kiddie pools in my life right now. Or backyards. I mean, I live in a building that used to mass-produce spaghetti. There's nothing sexy about that. There's nothing sexy about living with my dad either but alas I am a lady of multitudes."
"You're moving in with him only because he needs your help," I added. Her relationship with her father had its own index of complications but his health wasn't in a great place and he couldn't live alone anymore—not that he'd admit it. Now, with her roommates moving out and on to new adventures, the time was right to go home. "No part of that says failure, James."
"I know, I know." I could almost hear her bobbing her head. "And this is better than staying there half the time and trying to check in on him only for his phone to be off the other half. It's just a change that I haven't totally embraced and I kind of want someone to stamp an asterisk on my forehead so I can sayYes, I'm moving home but not like that."
"You'd look cute with an asterisk on your forehead," I said. "It could serve several purposes."
"It really could." I heard her gulp down a drink. Then, "Give me the quick and dirty on your fake-fiancée tour."
"We've had every travel disaster in the world, and ended up getting stuck in a small town in Utah—I think? I don't even know where I am anymore—where we're sharing a horror movie motel room that has a ceiling leak, lizards, and only one bed. And?—"
"Hold up, baby girl," she said. "You're sharing a roomanda bed?"
I emptied everything into a sigh. "Yes."
"Mmhmm." I could hear her smug grin. "Go on."
"I was dancing with bull riders last night and then we yelled at each other for a few minutes before we kissed and did a few other things and had some sex?—"
"You hadsome sex? What does that even mean? Oh my god, Audrey, never change."
