Annette:You're right. I would burn it down.
Brooke:I'd help.
Annette:But I don't mind gaining some pearls of wisdom as I age.
Brooke:Those pearls of wisdom are from me. They have nothing to do with age. It's who you know.
Annette:And aren't I lucky to know you?
Brooke:The best thing about being over 30 is blow jobs.
Annette:I'm going to need you to unbox that one, honey.
Brooke:No blow jobs after 30.
Annette:…okay. I'm trying to follow you, but I'm not sure I am.
Brooke:I haven't given a blow job since I was 29.
Annette:I gather you're pleased with this?
Brooke:Don't pretend you like the feel of fuzzy balls on your chin or having that dick taste in your throat.
Annette:I'll say this. I enjoy reciprocity.
Brooke:Oh my god, stop it.
Annette:Stop what? It's only fair.
Brooke:And what do you do, darling deep throat, with all the jizz? Because that's a riddle I've never solved.
Annette:Are you asking me this literally or…?
Brooke:Swallowing isn't an option. I can't. I won't. That means I have to duck out of the way before he goes off like the Bellagio fountains or offer up my skin for the Jackson Pollock treatment. And you know what happens after that? On the off chance he's a considerate guy, I get to wait with a puddle of human fluids on my chest while he finishes with the convulsions and heavy breathing to fetch a washcloth. Entire minutes of my life go by while I'm marinating like tonight's pork loin.
Annette:You're so special.
Brooke:You go right ahead and enjoy your reciprocity.
Annette:I'll ask one more time. Are you ready for your birthday weekend? Because I have plans, lady. PLANS.
Brooke:If you're asking whether I'm ready to dance like I'm working hard for the money, then yes.
Brooke:I reserve the right to slap you if there's cake and singing involved.
Annette:So…that means we won't be going to that place we like, the one that isn't a karaoke bar but they still have the equipment and they always let us go to town on Britney and Christina songs?
Brooke:I did not say that. I don't want anyone singing AT me. There is a difference.
Annette:Mmhmm and the cake? I was under the impression you required a yellow cake with chocolate buttercream frosting, but it sounds like that's canceled too?
Brooke:I don't mind cake. I just don't want someone to walk up with a cake and put it in front of me while everyone stares.
Brooke:That shit is fucking awkward.
Annette:Right, right, right. Let me see if I have this straight. You want singing, but not at you. You want cake, but you don't want anyone presenting it to you. Is that correct?
Brooke:Mostly.
