Riley:We're going to need to write that into themarriagevows.
Riley:Something like, I, Alexandra, do promise to never raise a hammer to Riley's penis or scrotum as long as we bothshalllive.
Alex:That'scharming.
Riley:Unique, right? People will be talking about it during the reception. They'll be like, Wow! Those two are a littlewonky.
Riley:And we'll just laugh because they don't even know the halfofit.
Alex:We're at the vow draftingstage?
Riley:You can never be tooprepared.
Alex:BoyScoutmuch?
Riley:Not me. I was more interested in acting out Justice Leaguereunions.
Alex:Makessense.
Riley:But it's my duty to tell you that my siblings are known for fucking shit up at weddings. Someone is always sneaking off to have sex, someone else is boarding a boat, and there are shenanigans aplenty.
Alex:Did you type "a plenty" with astraightface?
Riley:Yes, but I said it with a pirate voice. Captain JackSparrow.
Alex:Sure…that'slogical.
Riley:Shenanigans, Alexandra. So. Many.Shenanigans.
Alex:And you take issue with thatbecause…?
Riley:Idon'tknow.
Riley:I guess because I'm never the one having theshenanies.
Alex:If we get married, we'll haveshenanies.
Riley:If.
Alex:I know,Iknow.
Riley:It'sfunny.
Alex:Isit?
Riley:Yeah. Like I'd ever letyougo.
* * *
The sun was warmer,the air crisper, the burritos tastier. All the love songs were writtenforme.
Lifewasgood.
No, it was fuckinggreat.
If you didn't count the rubber band winging off my forehead, ofcourse.
"What the fuck?" I snapped, pressing my fingertips tomybrow.
