“Stop. You know I can’t stop laughing once you start tickling me.” I squirm and try to get away, but his arms are firm. “How do you stay so strong?”
“Working out, like anyone else, J. I go to physical therapy to aid in keeping some muscle in my legs too. I haven’t been to the gym or my karate class in weeks, though, because of work … and you.”
“Karate?”
He nods. “Took that up a few years after the chair.”
“You’re still doing it?”
He nods again. “Helps in the ring.”
“I can’t believe you’re doing underground fights.”
“Told you. Fighting will always be a part of me. Connor hates it, too, though.”
“Is that the real reason you continue to do it?”
He pauses, pulling back. “Maybe.”
“Don’t you think it’s about time to give that up?”
“Don’t you think it’s about time to give up that guilt you’ve been carrying over my accident?”
My eyes narrow, and I place my hands on my hip.
He stares at me with a lifted brow.
“Don’t try to tell me what to do.”
“Listen, I’m the one in this chair. Not you. If I don’t hold a grudge against you for doing what you thought was right at that time to save me,youdon’t get to hold one against yourself. Got it?”
He palms my face with both of his hands.
Frowning, I stare into his deeply penetrative gaze. He always had a way of making me feel wholly exposed with a look. I run my finger across his bottom lip before leaning in to press a kiss to it.
“I’ve carried it for so long. It’s hard to let something like that go.”
“Then let me help you.” He pulls me in, kissing me until I forget whatever it was we were discussing.
“The tree lighting?”I ask Mark as I sit at his kitchen table while he prepares pancakes and bacon over the griddle on the countertop.
“Yeah, it’s happening tonight. You know the place, not too far from Townsend Industries.”
I sigh.
“What’s the matter?” He turns, looking at me with concern in his eyes.
Shrugging, I answer, “Nothing. It’s just that I’ve avoided holiday events for so long. Or would only take part in them from the periphery. As a kid, holidays weren’t much fun because my father made sure that every single part of the day went his way, down to what I had to drink at holiday meals.”
“He was that controlling?” The expression on his face morphs into what I can only describe as hostile.
I nod, feeling ashamed.
“Why the hell didn’t you ever tell me? That’s what you were holding back from me the whole time?” he asks as he brings our filled plates over to the table.
I shake my head as I stare down at the chocolate chip pancakes and strips of bacon and scrambled eggs on my plate.
“I saw the sadness in your eyes the first time we spoke.”
