“Do you use it?”
I nodded. “I minored in English in undergrad.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“I rarely tell anyone. I always liked writing, but I never did anything with it besides take some classes. Anyway, I was writing in it a few days ago and I talked with Dr. Kearns some of what I wrote. It had to do with my career.”
“What about it?”
I pushed out a breath, not knowing if what I was about to reveal would make any sense.
“From the time I was young I was pushed into becoming a doctor. It was a given that Luke and I were going to medical school. Even after I graduated high school early and left for college at sixteen, I felt freer but still under my mother’s hold. I majored in biology because I hadn’t even considered anything else. And then I went to medical school and residency. But initially what I thought was just because I’d been forced to go into medicine, somewhere along the line I found that I enjoyed it. I love being a doctor and I’m fucking good at it. And I attributed my success to her. Which was also why I fought.”
Lifting her head, Grace gave me a confused look. “What does your fighting have to do with you loving your career?”
“I associated my success as a doctor with my mother. According to Dr. Kearns I subconsciously tried to destroy it through fighting, at least partially. He thinks it’s why I get into the ring knowing the risk of injury.”
“But your mother has nothing to do with your success.”
I shook my head. “She pounded succeeding and being the best, and looking the best, into us, literally and figuratively. I studied for hours on end even after I left home because that’s what’d been drilled into me. When other med students were complaining about having to memorize everything and procedures and terms, for me it felt like it came second-nature because I’d been made to do it for so long. I’m as good as I am because of her.”
Again, Grace raised her head and took my face into her palms. “In spite of her. You are who you are in spite of that evil bitch.”
Lifting my head, I pressed a kiss to her lips, hoping that I could believe her words one day.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Jacob
“Your hand is looking good, Jacob,” Dr. Jeffries stated as he looked it over after having taken down the X-ray images. “How’s it feeling?”
I squeezed my right hand into a fist and extended it a couple of times, feeling out the movement.
“Stiff,” I grunted.
He chuckled which caused me to frown. “That’s to be expected for a little while. I’m going to schedule you for some physical therapy starting next week and I want you to wear that air cast for a couple more weeks, but after that I expect you won’t need it for most of the day. I’m thinking you’ll be back to a hundred percent in at least another month.”
My frown deepened. “I won’t be able to operate for another month?”
“Depends on the operation. I wouldn’t do anything too technical to start out with.”
“Of course you wouldn’t. You’re an ortho surgeon. You guys don’t know anything but breaking bones.”
He laughed. “Good to see you’re still keeping that sense of humor while on leave. But seriously, I want you to at least get a week or two of physical therapy under your belt before stepping back in the OR. We’ll take it from there.”
I nodded and slipped my hand back in the air cast, securing it at the wrist. I took the information for the physical therapist Dr. Jeffries recommended to call right after this meeting and schedule my first appointment.
“Hey, how’d it go?” Grace questioned as soon as I exited the office.
I looked over her in those electric scrubs and my body hummed to see what was underneath.
“Looks good, so far. I’ve got to start PT. Should be back in the OR soon.”If I still have a job,my brain decided to remind me.
It’d been two weeks since I was released from Willow Springs and just about six weeks since the incident that sent me spiraling in the first place. I was still on suspension from the hospital while they investigated, although they called it leave, now, citing my injury as the cause.
“Do you want me to walk up with you?”
Leaning down, I brushed my lips across Grace’s just because they looked so damn enticing. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend the way my chest felt like it was splitting open whenever I looked at her, and as painful as that might’ve sounded, it was actually the best feeling in the world.
