“A’ight, I fucked up with—”
“No. One, don’t touch me,” I shouted, swatting his hand away again. “Second, I did not kill a baby. I was a few weeks pregnant. I aborted an embryo, and if you or anyone else thinks I’m going to feel sorry about that, you can kiss my ass. I did what I needed to do to rid myself of a monster who I knew if I’d stayed with him would kill me one day.”
“One who you met up with five years later?!”
“I already told you why I did that.”
“Right. For him to apologize.”
“No, for closure. He apologized, and it was done.”
“Fuck that! Why did he feel the need to apologize in person any damn way? Why the fuck was he back around you, period?”
“I don’t know! I don’t care either and I’m sick of fucking talking about him.”
“Trust me, baby girl, not as sick as I am.”
By then we were both raising our voices, our chests rising and falling. I felt so out of sorts. We were having a great vacation, save for the hiccup of him asking me to move in with him, and now we were yelling at the top of our lungs at one another.
It felt like he slapped me when he accused me of killing a baby. I hated how my past with Ethan intruded on my life, on this relationship I thought was going well. But I could see in Xavier’s eyes there was something deeper. A fear he wasn’t ready to admit, or hell, maybe he didn’t even know. All I knew was that, if we continued this conversation, we were at risk of saying even more we’d both regret.
I sidestepped Xavier, putting my back to him.
“Chanel…”
“You need to go shower. You still have blood on you,” I cut him off.
I finally heard him moving around and then going into the adjoining bathroom. I didn’t move until I heard the door close. Once it did, I sunk onto the bed, refusing to let any tears drop. I squeezed and rubbed my eyes until the sensation of needing to cry left me. I breathed a little easier when I heard the shower turn on.
So much for Miami.
Chapter Sixteen
Chanel
“All right, I’ll be in my office. Let me know if you need anything,” Jason offered.
It’d been a week since our return from Miami, and it was my first day at my father’s office. I’d worked long hours the previous week at my old firm to make the transition as smooth as possible for everyone involved. I’d opted to take the previous Friday off to regroup before starting at my new position on Monday.
Now that I was standing in the middle of my new office with boxes that needed to be unpacked and walls that needed decorating, I was feeling a little overwhelmed. My brother and father had taken time to show me around, introduce me to the administrative staff and other attorneys that I hadn’t met previously, and to take care of all the first day administrative details that were necessary.
“All right. Thanks, Jay. It’s almost one, so Gabby should be here soon. She insisted on bringing me lunch to my first day.”
“I’ll check on you later.”
I frowned. “I don’t need you to check on me. I’m not a six-year-old.”
Jason raised his eyebrows. I immediately felt contrite for snapping at him. I’d been on edge for more than a week. The long hours of transitioning from one job to another, coupled with the anxiety of working for and with my father, plus everything still going on in my personal life… Yeah, Xavier and I were still going through it after our trip to Miami.
“I’m sorry. I know you meant well. Thank you for everything.” I went over to Jay, squeezing his arm affectionately.
“Something you want to talk about?” he questioned.
“No, I’m good. Really.”
“You sure? Cause if it’s X, I can handle that for you.” His lips quirked up into a slight smile.
Although he was joking, a wave of sadness passed through my belly. I didn’t want him to see it though, so I returned his smile.
