We’d been silent all the way back to our hotel. Leon had called for our driver to pull up out back as soon as I came down the hallway and saw what was happening. Within seconds of me realizing it was Ethan sprawled out on the floor underneath Xavier, I was ushered down the hall to the exit, flanked by security who’d also managed to get Xavier to follow suit.
“What do you want me to say?” He looked at me with serious eyes. His expression was stony. Thankfully, someone had given him their handkerchief to wipe Ethan’s blood off his face, but spots of it now stained his white shirt. That made my stomach turn. The sight of blood. I had to look away.
Xavier must’ve noted my reaction because he began unbuttoning and removing his shirt as he headed toward the bedroom.
“So you’re not going to say anything?”
“What do you want me to say?” He spun around as if I was the one covered in another person’s blood. “I need to explain to you why the sight of that motherfucker made my fingers itch? Do I need to explain to you that, for months, I’ve been plotting what I’d do when I finally caught up with his ass? I need to explain to you that the sight of my woman bruised by that nigga has haunted me for months?” he shouted.
His words caught me by surprise. I don’t know why, but I never thought of Xavier as the plotting type. I knew he hated Ethan, but it never crossed my mind that he’d be actively looking for Ethan.
“You were in your club, on business, for goodness’ sake!” The Xavier I knew was a businessman, through and through. Why would he sacrifice his standing as a professional, and for Ethan?
“I don’t give a fuck! If he had the damn nerve to show his face in my club, then he had the opportunity to get his ass whooped in that same club!”
“What about Leon? What about your guests and all the patrons there?”
“I don’t give a damn about all of that.” He waved his hand dismissively.
I took a step in front of him when he tried to get around me. “Why would you compromise yourself for Ethan, of all people?”
“Don’t say his fucking name! And I know you’re not defending him?”
“What?” I asked, truly bewildered that he could even think that’s what I was doing. “This has nothing to do with defending him. I don’t care about him. This is about you! The Xavier I know is rational and doesn’t go off on people half-cocked, especially without provocation.”
“Without prov—? He beat the hell out of you!” he shouted. “You had to move to the opposite side of the country to get away from him! You killed your baby because of him!”
That last statement knocked the wind out of me. It was like a splash of cold water and a slap across the face all in one. I stared into Xavier’s usually coffee-brown eyes that were now almost black, filled with hostility. I stumbled back a few steps, grabbing my stomach.Killed your babyechoed in my head.
“Th-that’s how you feel? That I killed a baby over him?” I looked up through watery eyes. His silence spoke volumes. Pain shot through my chest.
“Why would you want to live with a baby killer?” I asked him spitefully. “Just this morning, you were talking about moving in together, and tonight you’re calling me a baby killer?” My indignation rose.
“I didn’t mean it like th—”
“Don’t!” I yelled when he took a step forward, reaching his arm out to me. “That’s what you think of women who’ve had an abortion? We’re baby killers?”
“Shit. I didn’t say all that,” he huffed.
“Yes you did!” A realization came over me. I recalled every sexual encounter we’d had since getting back together. A sick feeling gripped me as I remembered that every encounter we’d had since I first told him about my abortion, he’d insisted on using a condom. Although taken aback at first, I didn’t think much of it. We weren’t married and had never spoken about having children, so it only made sense that we’d protect ourselves.
But thinking about it then, it was different than before our breakup. Back then, Xavier had paid little mind to the fact that we’d engaged in sex without protection. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my hand over my chest, bracing myself.
“D-did you think I’dkillyourbaby too?”
His eyes widened before he lowered his gaze and stared off at something behind me.
“You did, right? Which is why, all of a sudden, you insisted we use protection? You thought I’d have another abortion without telling you?” I heard the hurt in my voice. I swallowed the lump that began to form in my throat and refused to let the tears in my eyes spill over.
“It wasn’t like that.” He took another step toward me.
I held my hand up for him not to come any closer, but he ignored my silent plea, crowding my space until my back was against the bedroom wall.
“Then what was it like?” I attempted to shove him away, but he barely budged. “You thought that I’d have an abortion if I got pregnant by you?”
“Look, I didn’t know. Shit, we never talked about kids. And when you tell me something like that…I didn’t mean... I didn’t know what to think.”
“Not that I’d abort our baby!” I yelled, pushing his chest. This time he did move back, thankfully. I needed some space from him. In the span of the last thirty minutes I’d gone from scared for Xavier’ safety, to confused, shocked, hurt and finally, pissed the hell off.
