We spent the next thirty minutes helping deconstruct the picnic tables, chairs and various stands that were in our section of the park. I frequently took breaks just to stare at Xavier. The space in my heart where he’d embedded himself had opened up just a little more, making even more room for his permanent residence. And while that thought still scared me, it was also a comforting feeling. One of safety in the knowledge that, just maybe, if I gave my heart to him completely, he’d keep it secure.
Then I began to wonder if I had the courage to do the same for him in return.
****
Later that evening, after stuffing ourselves with delicious Thai food from yet another one of Xavier’s restaurants, we lay sprawled out on his huge bed. I sat with my back pressed against his massive headboard. My legs were stretched out in front of me, and I was covered in one of his T-shirts. I looked down in my lap where Xavier’s head rested. His eyelids hung low but not all the way closed. I allowed my eyes to roam over the rest of his body and my belly flip-flopped when the muscles in his abdomen bulged and flexed as he adjusted his long legs, which were partially hanging over the side of the bed.
He wore only a pair of white boxer briefs that beautifully outlined the thick appendage between his legs. Wordlessly, he reached for my hand and brought it to his lips, before raising it to his head, silently conveying that he wanted me to keep stroking his low-cut Caesar with my hand as I’d been doing moments before.
“I’m glad you didn’t put on Lemonade again.” He grunted when I shoved at his shoulder lightly.
“We do not disrespect the queen.” I’d opted to play Rihanna’s ANTI.
“Whatever, I mean, it ain’t like this is much better, though.”
I paused as Rihanna sang the chords ofNeed Me,and laughed.
“This song kinda reminds me of you.”
He tilted his head. “Me?”
“Yeah,you.I mean, it was always how I thought of you. Not needing anyone, well, not a woman at least, as frequently as you changed women. Just another chick on the hit list. That was part of the reason I wasn’t tryna date you to begin with.”
He gave me a contemplative look. “That’s what you thought, huh?”
“That and a few other things,” I laughed as I continued to stroke his head with my hand.
“Like what?”
The memory of the first time I saw him in my office building came to mind. The image of him dressed in a suit that was made to fit only him. His confident swagger and demeanor, not even noticing the women whose eyes he caught as he passed by, and that dimple when he smiled down at me….
“I thought men like you shouldn’t be allowed out after five o’clock.”
He chuckled.
“I’m serious. That was my first thought when I saw you in my office building the day you walked me to my car.” I smiled just thinking about how warm my belly got watching him.
“Want to know what I thought?” His question broke into my concentration, and my hand faltered. I briefly wondered if I wanted to know what he thought that day.
“What?” I finally asked.
“I thought, little Chanel has grown the hell up.”
“Shut up!” I shoved his shoulder.
“No, I’m serious though,” he said between laughs. “I mean, the way that peach was sitting in that beige skirt you wore had me doing double takes.”
“So, I didn't imagine that, huh? You were staring at my ass.”
“Hell, yeah, have you seen that ass?”
I threw my head back, giggling.
“So, that’s why you asked me out? My ass?”
He smirked. “That was just the icing on the cake. It was the pull I felt whenever I was around you.”
“It didn’t bother you that I was your best friend’s little sister?”
