“And I’d let you do it,” his son answers, voice tight with grief. “Egg his precious car and sign him up for Bible study visits while you’re at it.”
Ah, sweet summer child. That’s not even in the same universe as what Anders is willing and capable of when it comes to those who would harm his children.
Anders pushes those thoughts aside—again—as Rami’s breath catches and his body folds farther in on itself. Anders gently brushes his hand up and down Rami’s back the way he did when he was upset as a kid. Perpetually nostalgic for the time his kids regularly looked to him for answers, Andersfrequently complains to Omar that they’d done too good a job of raising their children to be independent.
“They don’t need us anymore.”
“Habibi, they will always need us.”
Omar, as usual, was right.
After a while, Rami’s sobs die down, and he sits up, sniffling as he wipes his eyes. “Sorry, Dad.”
Anders shakes his head. “No, son. Never be sorry for your emotions. This is a shitty thing that happened, and you’d have to be a robot not to cry. I know you felt deeply for Tadrick.”
Anders congratulates himself for not calling him Tadpole, like he does mentally every time the name comes up.
“I was so in love with him,” Rami says, a few more tears slipping down his cheeks. “I thought he was my forever.”
“I’m glad you got to feel that kind of love, son, even if this was the result.” Anders lets out a knowing sigh. “It just means you’ll know this kind of love is possible for you when you find the right guy.”
“Yeah,no.” Rami sniffs. “I never want to go through that again.”
“You’re right, son. Now is not the time to worry about some new guy.”
“No, Dad.” Rami shakes his head in that determined way of his. “I amneverfalling in love again.Fuck that.”
“Son, I get that you’re a member of the one-and-done generation, but you’re also a Bash. Sorry to say…we love big. And sometimes that means we run straight for the wrong person.” Anders laughs at a memory. “I know I did when I was your age. Had my heart broken by a girl named Sandra Brody. She didn’t want to go to college while still chained to her high school boyfriend, and I think I cried the whole summer over her.”
“How did you get over her?”
“I fucked her brother,” Anders says, always a little toohonest with his sexual history. He grins at Rami’s muttered, “God, Dad.”
Rami snorts through his tears, then asks, “Why does that not surprise me?”
“Not all bisexuals are vengeful,” Anders responds sagely. “But all vengeful people are bisexual.”
That’s not true, of course, but Rami’s laugh, one of his dad’s favorite sounds in the world, rings throughout the small pool house, and Anders is grateful for the break in the heavy emotions.
Rami, still snort-laughing, tilts to his side, falling against his dad. Anders may be the goofy one, but he’s also the one who bandaged Rami’s scrapes, taught him to be bold, and showed him how to defend himself when necessary.
Both Rami and Maya always say they’re lucky to have two amazing dads, and Anders believes they mean it. It never seems to be about the money either. The kids just love them, like maybe he and Omar have done something right after all. Rami sniffles again, and Anders reaches behind the couch to snag the tissue box off the credenza.
“If you’re feeling up to it, why don’t we join everyone else and enjoy our family today?” he suggests as Rami blows his nose. “And then on Saturday, maybe lets you and I volunteer at the queer kids camp they have going on at Windy Point. Sound good?”
Rami stands and stretches, as if maybe he’d been curled up in a ball a bit too long. “That might be good, Dad. They’ll get to see what a great parent looks like.”
“And they’ll get to see what it’s like to have such an amazing son.” Anders stands and brings Rami into a warm hug. “I’m so proud of the man you’re becoming. I know you’ll get past this, and it’ll open your heart to the right person for you.”
Rami makes the appropriate, agreeable-sounding noises, butAnders worries he’s just mollifying his old man. He hates to see his son hurting this much and knows Rami judges himself for not being able to just get over the pain he feels.
As they make their way into the sunshine, Anders sends a small prayer to the god of broken hearts that his son will find the kind of love he deserves.
2
RAMI
FOUR YEARS LATER
