Casual Felonies

At what point does casually stalking your hot barber become a felony?

Look, I swear I’m harmless. Just a mildly obsessed, extremely hot influencer trying to figure out why my barber-slash-hookup-slash-possible-soulmate kicked me out after the best [redacted] of my life.
As he was shoving me out the door, he muttered something about my dads and a meat hook. I have no idea what he’s talking about. Sure, my dads are… intense. But it’s not like they’d actually kill a man for defiling their son.
Probably.
Anyway, I’m off to slap a super illegal tracker on the hot barber’s car and see what that gets me.