“I know. I know, and so I’m sitting here, racking my brain, trying to figure out any way I can get you to forgive me.”
Sky gripped the steering wheel, letting his head fall between his arms. “Dammit, cowboy.”
At least he wasn’t first- and last-naming me.
“You know, I did some light reading on gay panic,” I said, hoping for a smile.
I was rewarded with a short laugh; a sound I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to earn again.
“The bad kind or the cute kind?” he asked, some of the brightness returning to his eyes.
“Both, sorta?”
“And what’d you learn?”
“That it’s possible to be brave, even when you’re scared out of your fucking mind. With everything I read—especially about the bad kind—I realized, even more than I had before, how brave you must be to go into the world exactly as you are. I panicked because I’m a coward, but I am trying not to be. And if you view me as your mentor in business, then I view you as the mentor in this area of my life.”
“You really are a little bitch,” he said, chuckling to himself.
“I can’t disagree with that.”
He sniffed, tilted his head to the side, taking me in. “You’re really going to get the surgery?”
“Yes.”
“You’ll forgive me for saying, ‘I’ll believe it when I see it,’ right?”
“Wouldn’t want it any other way, Sky.”
20
SKYLAR
A weekafter the MRI debacle, I still wasn’t sure how I felt about Mr. Baker, or his offer to get the surgery. Well, I did feel a little guilty about basically shaming him into agreeing, but not so guilty that I was willing to let him off the hook.
I couldn’t help but be charmed, however, by his careful check-ins.
Kit: How’d your appointments go this week?
Me: I don’t need you to check in on me, Kit.
Kit: I know. It makes me feel better to know you’re okay.
Me: They went really well, actually. Got a lot of folks signing up for my subscription service, so thank you for that idea.
Kit: I just want you to be as successful as possible.
I knew he was telling me the truth, and little by little, I was coming around to his sweetness and unintentional humor.
Kit: I don’t think I ever told you this, but I got a shower cane so’s I don’t fall while washing up.
Me: Kit Baker, are you trying to get me to visualize you naked?
Kit: Uh, no. Sorry. I was trying to say that I do listen.
Me: I know. I was just teasing you.
Kit: You can visualize me naked if you want to.
