We arrived at Sky’s car right as he finished ripping me a well-deserved new one, and he yanked the door open.
“Do you want me to find my own ride home?” I asked, feeling about as low as I possibly could.
“Get in the fucking car, Kit. And shut the fuck up,” he said, angrily gesturing to the passenger side. “I don’t want to hear another word come out of your country-fried mouth, or I swear to God, I will leave you on the side of the goddamned road.”
Properly silenced, I gave him a sharp nod, then dropped—painfully—into the passenger side. I put on my seatbelt and kept my eyes forward as he shoved his bag into the back. He thenslid into the driver seat with a huff, slammed the door, yanked his seatbelt across his lap, and turned on the car, gunning the engine.
“I swear to God, Kit Baker. Not one word.”
I said nothing, merely dropping my chin again to acknowledge his words.
He peeled away from the curb, tires squealing. Making quick work of downtown Austin, he hit the highway at speed, and as requested, I kept my mouth shut.
Traffic was a mix of too many cars on the road driven by far too many inattentive drivers, but Sky wove in and out with expert precision. His jaw was sharp as I had ever seen it, anger and tension radiating off him. Between me and that fucking sugar daddy, I couldn’t tell which of us had taken off Sky’s shine more, but I felt like a little schoolboy, scolded and ashamed of myself.
I wanted to open my mouth and apologize until he forgave me. I wanted to explain myself. I wanted to throw myself at his feet and beg for forgiveness. More than anything, I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and feel him wrap his arms around my waist. I wanted to hold him against the world. I wanted to never let him go. To show him in every way possible how much I wanted to support him so he would never, ever have to doubt me.
He’d done nothing but try to help me. He’d even listened to my good business advice and then implemented it in a way that made me so proud, I could barely stand it. He was smart, sexy, and he was making something of himself.
Here I was, worried about what it meant to be attracted to him, and he must’ve been terrified, starting over like that. Completely turning his life upside down so he could live it on his terms, and I couldn’t handle a little kissing and touching.
I thought about my friend, Trip. He didn’t know nothin’ about his sexuality before he’d met Sam. I’m sure he had a couple of moments of questioning himself, but never once in any of the stories he and Sam shared about their getting together had he ever doubted or freaked out or made Sam feel less than. Maybe, just as importantly, he hadn’t madehimselffeel less than, not the way I’d managed to.
My knee throbbed, as if it agreed with my lousy assessment of the situation. As if to say I’d finally fucking figured it out. By the time Skylar turned into the ranch drive, I knew what I had to do.
He rocked up to the front of my house and left the car running, staring out the windshield, no doubt waiting for me to exit the vehicle so he could launch me out of his life. But I couldn’t do that. If there was even the tiniest chance I could make this man smile at me again, I would take it.
“I am so sorry,” I said softly.
“I don’t wanna hear it, Kit.”
“I know my words don’t mean much right now.”
“I said, I don’t want to hear it.”
“I’ll do it,” I blurted out. “I’ll do the surgery.”
“Why, Kit?” His jaw clenched a little harder. “Why now?”
The question surprised me, and all I could think to do was tell him the truth. “Because you’re right. I need it. And, like you said, all of my fussing was disrespectful of your expertise. Not to mention the time you and Dr. Kleinfeld spent diagnosing the issue. I’m especially sorry I embarrassed you in front of your boss. I hadn’t realized how much I was acting like Rich back there,” I said, his name like shit in my mouth. “And I never, ever wanna be even in the same ballpark as a guy like that. Not ever again.”
Skylar didn’t respond, and I chanced a look in his direction. His eyes were brimming with tears, and I was gutted to see how badly I had messed up.
“Sky . . .”
He finally turned to me. The tears had breached their barricades and were tumbling down his cheeks.
“Do you have any idea how scary all of this is for me?” he asked, his voice choked off.
“I was just imagining how turning your entire life upside down couldn’t’ve come easy. And seeing the way he talked to you, I realized—late, I know—that you had to do all of those scary things with his awful words in your ear. You’re a hell of a lot stronger than I am.”
He sniffed, angrily wiping away a tear. “Don’t you be nice to me now, Kit Baker. Don’t fuck with my head.”
Ah, dammit.
“I’m not just being nice to you, Sky. I promise. This is me realizing how wrong I was. And, as much as I hate seeing you cry, I hate even worse that it’s my fault. I want to put my arms around you and promise to never freak out again.”
“You can’t promise that.”
