“Thank you. I think.”
She laughed, and hip-checked me. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me what’s going on with you. You are absolutely not ridiculous, neither in wanting to see where this could go, nor in getting overwhelmed in the moment. It’s all normal, Kit. It’s all natural. And, selfishly, I want you to fall in love again to ease up on the guilt I carry with me.”
It was my turn to stop in the middle of the sidewalk. “You don’t need to feel guilty about anything.”
“I know you say that, and I believe you feel that. But I know my leaving hurt you. Deeply. You are literally the last person on the planet I would ever want to hurt, but hurt you I did. So, if I can walk you through a little bit of existential panic and get you on your way to a happily ever after, then maybe we can both quit with the self-flagellation.”
I turned and gave my ex-wife a hug. “Ain’t got nothing to feel guilty for. This ain’t your fault. You were raised a certain way. I was raised a certain way. We were doin’ our best.”
“You remember that, then,” she said, a little weepy. “You’re not gonna do this perfectly, Kit. Sorry. But if you’re sincere, and he’s sincere, then that’s the ball game.”
“Did you really just make a ball joke?”
“Yes, I did,” she said, a little too proud of herself. She squeezed her arm around mine. “Look. Be honest about the things you’re afraid of and let it play out. If it’s meant to be, it’ll feel like . . .”
She paused, looking for the word.
“Home?” I asked, rubbing my chest.
Her smile told me I’d gotten it right in one.
“That’s a great way of putting it, Kit. Is that how you feel with Skylar? Does he feel like home?”
I caught the tear before it rolled down my cheek. “Yeah. Even though I feel like I’ve been turned upside down and shaken loose, he does.”
“There you go.”
She hugged me, and I held on for a few extra seconds. She then patted my back, and we took the split down the sidewalk, she on her way to her house, me on my way to mine.
Maybe this wasn’t such a disaster after all.
18
SKYLAR
I tooka deep breath as I rounded the last bend, arriving at the dude ranch’s beautiful main building. This was such an idyllic place. Guides were leading a dozen or so guests on the horse trail that wound in and around the historic property. Rowdy had mentioned that limited day passes were available, so locals could partake in some of the activities. It was a great idea, but then I got too busy to even consider it.
After parking in the circular drive, I got out of the car and squared my shoulders. I was wearing my favorite heels, skinny jeans, and favorite off-the-shoulder Ralph Lauren. Kit and I had texted back and forth a couple of times since that morning in Gruene, but we’d kept it light, and I didn’t know where the hell we stood at this point, so I needed the good armor to get his ass to Austin.
As I was preparing myself for battle, Kit walked out the main office door.
“Hey there,” he said with a cowboy grin.
“Hey.”
“Didn’t think you’d come,” he said, half-jokingly. I’d texted him last night, warning him I’d be taking him to his appointment one way or another.
I placed my freshly manicured hand on my hip, sending him an arch of my precisely plucked brow. “Your skinny ass is gettin’ in that MRI machine if I hafta shove you in there myself.”
“Bossy,” he said, smiling.
I lifted a shoulder. “Don’t lie. That’s what you like about me.”
He chuckled, limping toward my car. “Doesn’t hurt.”
Just as he got into the passenger seat, Sadie poked her head out the door.Is he actually going?she mouthed. I sent her a wink.
“You know, the only reason I’m going through with this is because Sadie kept canceling everything I tried to put on today’s schedule.”
