“Do you think he knew what he’d walked in on?”
“Well, since we were kissing while Skylar was wrapped in a sheet, I’m pretty sure he knew the score more or less immediately.”
“Oh,Christopher,” she said, one of three people who’d ever used my given name. “I mean, Rowdy’s a good man, but . . . still. You should’ve been able to explore this privately.”
“That . . .” I sighed. “That’d’a been ideal. But I asked Skylar to tell him not to tell anyone.”
“I’m sure Rowdy would’ve kept it to himself anyway, but I’m equally sure Skylar doesn’t judge you for wanting to keep this private. At least for now.”
This is where I had to admit what a coward I was.
“He didn’t judge me, but I know I hurt his feelings.”
“You have never once intentionally hurt someone’s feelings, Kit.”
“Well . . .” I took off my hat again, fidgeting with it in my hands. “Sky has an interesting history, one that is his own business to tell, and some of what I said made him think I was judging him.”
“Were you? Judging him, that is?”
I shook my head, then replaced my hat. Then gave her the so-so gesture. She raised her brows at me.
“I didn’t do it intentionally, Cyn. But I was in a cold sweat for a second there, and not all of my thoughts were charitable. And now I feel like an absolute asshole.”
“Hm.” She went quiet, thoughtful. “How long have we known each other? Since we were fifteen?”
“Yeah . . .”
“Believe me when I say you are not an asshole. For one, I wouldn’t have married an asshole, even at nineteen and with my family history. Second, when you care for someone, you’re relentless on their behalf.”
I flushed at her compliment. While I no longer pined for Cynthia, I wanted her approval, especially as a father. She wasn’t done with the compliments, though.
“When we didn’t know what was happening with Reed, you were a dog with a bone until we got his diagnosis. More than that, you made sure he had everything he ever needed, and that he had the kind of teachers who wouldn’t allow him to languishin their classrooms. Hell, Kit. You weren’t even twenty-five and there you were, setting up parent-teacher conferences and reading books by Temple Grandin and Steven Silberman while running a business.”
“What was I going to do, abandon my boy to the system?”
“Of course not. But it’s not just that. You were hurt when I came out, yet you accepted me where I was, and continued to be an excellent father to our son. And the way you treat Brandy . . .” She raised her shoulders. “I don’t think I could have asked for a better person in my life than you, Kit.”
I was cringing at her kind words, but there was a truth I couldn’t ignore. Even if you were a good person, at some point you’re gonna be the villain in someone else’s story.
“I don’t know if Skylar would agree with you.”
“Please. There’s no way a little panic would scare him off. He has to see the kind of man you are.”
Her words gave me solace, but I wasn’t sure if I totally believed her.
“I wish I’d been able to keep my wits about me. I cried.”
Her eyebrows met again. “You? Cried?”
“It was like all of a sudden everything I ever thought I knew—likereally knew—about myself was a lie. I lost all sense of gravity and direction.”
“I can see how that would get you to spinning.”
“Worse, I don’t know if this was serious for him or what. So, now I’m all turned upside down and shaken out for what might amount to a hookup. And the thought that this might not be all that serious for him? Makes me want to vomit.”
She gave me a half-hug. “Yeah. You’re not a hook-up guy.”
“Considering that you and him are the only people I’ve ever slept with, no.”
