“Very.”
He repeated thekeep it rollinggesture.
“Let’s just say that, even though we didn’t do thenastynasty, he is a very thorough, considerate lover. I mean, we both got off pretty epically and then fell asleep. Which is why I forgot all about shopping.”
“Went and fucked yourselves into a coma, didn’t you?”
“That we did. But then Kit woke up and tried to be real careful about getting out of bed, like he didn’t want me to know he was awake. I was surprised, actually, when he didn’t try to sneak out.”
“What’d he do?”
“He spent a long time in the bathroom, probably reevaluating his entire life in the mirror. When he came out, I knew I had to get him talking.”
“Were you able to get anywhere with that?”
“Eventually, but he was really freaking out at first. And he cried. Not a lot becauserancher, but he definitely shed a few tears.”
Rowdy clutched his chest. “Oh my God. Poor, sweet, confused man.”
I was grateful Rowdy wasn’t making fun, and I agreed with his assessment. Kit looked more confused and lost than I’d ever seen another person, and I own a mirror.
Rubbing his chin, he asked, “But when I walked in, y’all were kissing, so . . .?”
“He’d just come out of his freak out, and the kissing was calming him down.”
“Until I went and ruined everything.” Rowdy dropped his chin to his chest, mournful.
“Scooted out of here as quick as he could,” I said, trying to avoid piling any more guilt on Rowdy’s plate. “Not sure if I’ll ever see him again.”
“What do you think’s freaking him out the most? That I saw y’all together? That he wanted to get personal with you?”
I ran my fingertips along the wood grain, considering.
“He admitted that he’d already been thinking of me in that way, so him kissing me wasn’t out of the blue.”
“Okay . . .”
I thought on it, then finally said, “He’s based a lot of his identity on being the stable, responsible kind of guy, so when he got himself into a spin, I think that set him off as much as anything. So, maybe not just that he wants me, but that he can’t find any equilibrium about wanting me, if that makes any sense.”
It was Rowdy’s turn to mull things over. “I can see that, actually.” He tapped the front of his teeth, then lifted his gaze to mine. “But I gotta ask—what do you want with him? Are you looking to punch his ticket and the let him loose?”
I wrinkled my nose. “No.”
Rowdy raised his brows and gestured—again—for me to continue. I chewed on my lower lip for a moment, then decided on the truth.
“I like him. I like him so much,” I finally admitted. “He’s nothing like those rich motherfuckers who hired me so they have someone to boss around and sit there and look pretty.”
“Oh, yeah. He’s on a different planet in a distant solar system compared to those guys. He’d never act like you were at his beck and call.”
“Exactly. I see how he cares for the people and things that are important to him, and . . . fuck. Maybe it’s selfish, but I’ve never been cared for like that and I want it. I want it so badly.”
Rowdy’s know-it-all grin irritated me.
“What?”
“You made fun of me for being an ass virgin, but you’re alovevirgin.”
“Oh, shut up.” I pushed his shoulder, embarrassed because he’d hit the nail on the head. “I’ve fallen in love plenty.”
