Entirely out of my comfort zone.
“I guess the one thing I wanna know is . . .” I started, then stopped. Luke gave me an encouraging look, so I just finally said it. “How the hell did I get to almost forty and not know this really important thing about myself? Like, you think I’d have figured something out a little earlier, right?” I asked, feeling so goddamned helpless.
“Well.” Luke shifted on his feet, probably trying to find the right words. “Maybe you can give yourself some grace. You were in love with Cynthia for a long time, so you never had to ask that particular question. It’s not too dissimilar to what happened with Trip and Sam.”
“Oh?”
“Trip was always like a one-person kind of man, and hadn’t been with enough people to realize he could also love a man. I bet you’d’ve loved Cynthia till the day you died, so maybe you never knew to explore other options.”
I sat with that for a while.
The metaphorical light bulb, so dim from lack of use, finally sputtered to life above my head.
“What’s this look?” Luke asked, gesturing a circle around my face.
“I really am the dumbest man alive,” I said, shaking my head as I hooked my thumbs into my belt loops. “I was just sayin’ to myself the other day that I hadn’t felt sore about the loss of my marriage for a few months now. Like, I’d somehow healed from everything and didn’t realize it.”
His mouth quirked up on one side. “Curious—did that timing happen to coincide with meeting Skylar?”
I chuckled. “I’m pretty sure it did, actually.”
“The heart is a sneaky organ sometimes. It’ll know well before your brain catches up.”
“Do you think that’s what happened? Is that why I didn’t know about this part of me until just recently?”
“Anything is possible,” Luke said, as though he’d maybe lived enough to see the impossible happen. “And at least you know he likes you back.”
I drew my chin back. “I do?”
“Have you seen the way he looks at you?”
“He’s a flirty guy,” I deflected. “You can’t read into that.”
Luke made a scoffing sound. “Oh, please. Skylar would do very indecent things to you if given even half a chance.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
I stopped, rolling my eyes heavenward. “You don’t think I’m an idiot for not knowing men could be an option? Skylar specifically?”
Luke shrugged. “I think things happen in their own timeline. And if you don’t fight it, the timing ends up being pretty amazing.”
Suddenly, the confusion and tension that’d been building in my chest all these months cleared. Like I could finally breathe. My fingers tingled as the tension in my neck and shoulders released.
“Well . . .shit.”
Luke laughed as he clapped his hand on my shoulder. “Follow your heart, cowboy. I doubt it’s ever led you astray.”
I smiled, thinking about how much different it felt when Luke called me cowboy versus Sky.
And suddenly I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of here.
I was vibratingout of my skin by the time Skylar finally finished up with Trip. I needed to . . . I dunno. Kiss him again? This time with intent?
What I needed like my next breath was to wrap myself around his body, but instead I was pacing while he and Sam then spent another millennia chatting each other up and talking about meeting up with Desi for brunch and shopping. I was about to start pulling my eyelashes out one by one when Skylar got into the car.
“What is going on with you, cowboy?” Sky asked as we rumbled over the sanctuary entrance. “I thought you and Luke were having a good time reminiscing about the good old days.”
