Was I really going to do this?
Yes. Yes, I was.
“I’ve never done anal,” I confessed in a whisper. “Only oral a few times and some hand jobs.”
Kess went quiet, and I chanced a look into his eyes. Surprise, but just as quickly, understanding. Another tear fell when I realized I’d never seen this expression on any of my previous lovers.
“Do you not want to do anal?” he asked carefully.
I buried my face in my hands. “Ido. But...”
“But you need to be in a relationship with somebody that you trust,” he said, finishing for me.
“Yes,” I said, unable to stop the hitching in my chest. “Oh God, you must think I’m so pathetic.”
“Not even close,” he said, lifting my chin with the tips of his fingers. “I think you’re fantastic. I’m surprised, but not in a bad way. Honestly, the only thing that makes me sad is that you felt like you had to put on this persona because you thought this part of you was shameful.”
“Isn’t it, though?”
“No.Fuck no,” he said so sincerely that I had no choice but to believe him. “And I wish I could convince you how special you are. Not because you haven’t had that kind of sex yet, butbecause you are just an amazing, amazing guy. The more I know about you, the more I want you.”
“Same,” I said, shy about admitting how much I liked him. “I’ve wanted you so bad for so long.”
“Of course you did. I told you—I’m a Scandinavian god.”
I cracked up, smacking his chest. “You’re theworst. The absolute fucking worst.”
He smirked, looking forward with pride. “Oh no. I am the best.”
“Still not calling you Thor.”
We giggled, then sat in silence for a few minutes.
“Now,” he said, sliding his hand down my back, cupping my ass. “I am in no rush, but I want to know. Do you think anal is something you would like to do with me?”
I thunked my head against his chest. “Of course.”
His chest rumbled, and he pumped his fist. “Oh yeah. That ass is mine.”
Grinning, I rolled over onto my ass so that he couldn’t touch it.
He laughed and held up his hands. “Eventually. On your timeline.”
I turned back toward him, almost dizzy with relief when his arms automatically surrounded me. He held me for I don’t know how long, at least until the Dalls started banging their horns against the feeder by the barn. There were feeders all over the sanctuary, mind you, not to mention the lush grasses and brush that grew in abundance, but the Dalls were insistent motherfuckers.
“Sorry,” I said, reluctantly pulling away. “The needs of the sanctuary wait for no one.”
I got our bowls of oatmeal ready, and he prepared the coffee.
“Can I make you dinner tonight?” he asked, holding my hand as we ate at the tiny table.
“I would like that,” I said, and a giddy sort of happiness spread throughout my body, all the way to my fingertips.
“One more question.”
“Shoot.”
“Normally, I’d prefer to give a relationship a little time to breathe before bringing other people in. But...I have talked to Emery about my feelings for you, and he’s going to ask questions. Also, your cousin with his binoculars...”
